Page 9 of That One Moment

“What's the deal with him anyway? I get that he’s anti this wedding, but I don’t really understand why. Your dad is happy - isn’t that a good thing?” We’ve talked a lot in the weeks gone by but never about Caiden. By some unspoken agreement, we’ve steered clear of anything to do with Cooper’s moody twin. And maybe because my focus is only ever on Cooper, and on building whatever this is between us, I haven’t been bothered about not knowing anything about the guy.

Seeing the brief flash of disappointment on my mother’s face and the sadness in Duncan’s eyes though, has me wanting to know what it is that makes him act the way he does.

Cooper hums while pulling the decorative decal off the candle. He plays with it between his fingers before he finally puts it down and answers me.

“My mum isn’t a very nice person. She only really cares about herself.” He leans against the closed door then sinks down onto his ass, bending his knees up so he can rest his elbows on them. I mirror his movements until I’m sitting next to him, a hair's breadth between us.

“She was twenty when she had us, twenty one when she married my dad. I don’t think she ever really wanted to be a mum. I wasn’t an easy child, I had constant ear infections, got sick really easily and generally made being a new mum difficult.”

I don’t say anything, instead, move a little closer so our legs are pressed together. Through the walls of the small room, I can hear the party continuing in the distance - the sounds of people celebrating the love and union of the newlyweds. But in here, the mood is somber as Cooper stares into the distance.

“But Caiden was different,” he continues. “He was the ‘easy twin’ as she’d call him to her friends. He was cute and laid back, he slept well and he never gave her any trouble.” He laughs but it’s without humor. “Which is funny because he is far from the easy one now. Anyway, by the time we were eight, she’d started to disappear for days on end and all my dad did was make excuses for her. Until one day she left and told Caiden she wasn’t returning.”

My heart aches for the little boys whose mum abandoned them. My dad may have left my mum but he’s been in my life despite the breakup of their marriage. Cooper is silent again so I take the chance to ask, “What does this have to do with your dad getting remarried or why Caiden is always so mad at him?”

Cooper tips his head and rests it on my shoulder, then places a hand on my knee. I tense, both elated and terrified at his proximity and the way my heart reacts to him touching me. He does this from time to time - holds my arm, throws his around my shoulder, places a hand on my waist. I don’t think he knows what it does to me or how I file away every brush of his skin on mine into the little folders of my heart. Where Caiden is cold and aloof, Cooper is touchy and affectionate and I lap up every ounce of his affection like a starved cub.

“My brother thinks that if my dad had been a better husband, my mum would have been happier and she would never have left. She told us that Dad is married to his job, that he’s cold and distant and the only thing he ever cared about is making money. And Caiden believes her.”

He smells like vanilla and sandalwood, reminding me of cold drinks on a sunny day. It’s a comforting scent and it takes all my willpower not to run my nose through his carefully styled hair, though I don’t miss the opportunity to sigh deeply, inhaling a little more of his scent.

“But why? That doesn’t make any sense.” I can’t match up the Duncan he’s describing with the man I’ve gotten to know - the man who brings my mum flowers, takes her on dates and insists she lies in on a Sunday while he tends to the house.

It’s Cooper’s turn to sigh and shivers race down my spine when his warm breath hits my neck. I hadn’t realised he’d tipped his head, bringing his mouth close to my skin.

“Caiden is smart. Like stupidly smart. But he doesn’t make friends very well and the few he has - the people he insists on hanging around with - don’t care about him. He has me - he’ll always have me - but he is also so desperate for our mum’s attention that he lets the need to please her rule his life. And my mum? She likes Caiden. Most of the time. She may never have acted like she actually wanted kids but she’s accepted that she has at least one child. I heard her once say that he’s her favourite, that she’d have been happy with just him.”

My gut clenches uncomfortably. How could a mother say that? Parents aren't meant to pick favourites. That’s a universal rule - or so I thought. Cooper sighs and I place my hand over his on my knee, giving it a squeeze.

“I’m sorry.” What else can I say? That he’smyfavourite. That his mum’s a bitch? That my world is a better place because he’s a part of it?

Cooper continues, ignoring my useless platitude. “In his eyes, she can do no wrong. So, when she says that it’s Dad’s fault she cheated on him so many times and then left us, he believes her. She’s the victim. If Dad had loved her more, and his job less, we'd still be the perfect family.”

He lifts his head and turns to look at me. His eyes are wet, the usually bright blue irises dark at the edges. “We were never a perfect family, but I won’t take that from Caiden. She’s let him down before and she will again and I’ll be there to pick him up. He so badly wants to believe that she left us not because shedidn't want to be a parent but because she felt unloved by our dad.”

He laughs again, but it’s without humour. “No one wants to feel like their mother didn’t want them.”

Aimlessly, I move my hand to draw circles over his knuckles, then run my fingertip up and down each of his fingers, keeping the pressure light.

“She left you too though, and you…”

“I’m different?” He interrupts and I nod wordlessly, watching my hand draw patterns on his skin.

“I stopped caring about winning her attention a long time ago. When it started feeling like I had to earn it rather than it being something a mother should naturally give their child. And in that time, I grew closer to my dad while Caiden grew further apart from him. I don’t resent the fact that she does make time for him when it suits her - that she so obviously chose him - but when he fights with Dad, I get the feeling he thinks Dad made a similar choice, only he chose me.”

Cooper shakes his head, his blue eyes boring into mine. “He didn’t though, my dad’s not like that, but Caiden pushes him away, blames him, so obviously there’s a rift between them.” I stop moving my fingers and lay my hand over his.

“And you’re okay with all of this?” I wave my free hand in the air. “With the wedding, and my mum and…..me?”

His lips twitch as he nods. “Yeah, I am. My dad is happy, it's never been more evident than since your mum came into his life. Caiden will come around. Or he won’t. I don’t really know. Some people think twins have this uncanny way of communicating with each other without words and while I don’t believe that, I can feel when my brother is sad and I feel it when he’s lonely. And when he talks about Mum, I feel his affection for her, so I let him believe what he needs to and I wait for the moment she breaks his heart and then I swoop in and hold him together.”

“And what about you?” Cooper turns his hand so his palm is brushing the underside of mine, then he links our fingers together. The puzzle pieces that make up our souls click together, seamlessly.

“Me? I’m just me. The twin who keeps the peace, the twin who never steps out of line. I know what I want from life, I know my path.”

“But are you happy?”

He smiles, his lips stretched wide, perfectly straight, white teeth on display.

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