Page 85 of That One Moment

“What it felt like to not be alone for Christmas. What it felt like to be part of something. Even before, Christmas wasn’t like this.” Choosing a side when my parents split put a damper on all our family holidays.

“It’s dizzying, in a nice way but I’m afraid it’s not real, like because it’s so good, it can’t possibly be true.” I sniff and wipe my eyes.

Jamie kisses my forehead, holding his lips against my skin for one, two, three heartbeats.

“What do you need?”

Placing one hand on the nape of his neck, I tilt my head until his lips whisper against mine. “I need you to kiss me. When you kiss me this all feels real, like I won’t open my eyes and be numb and lost again.”

“You’re the realest thing in my life,” Jamie says, applying pressure until our lips are locked in a slow, sensual kiss that heals another part of me. He kisses me until warmth floods my veins and I’m forced to push him away before we forget that there’s a bunch of people still waiting for us.

“We should get those hot chocolates started,” I say, breathlessly nodding towards the kettle.

He smiles, slides a hand down my arm and takes my hand, squeezing it before finally letting go. It's a silent promise of something I’ve been scared to wish for but am finally letting myself believe. That this is forever. Him and I. Me and him.

Taking another break from opening gifts so that Sage can put Nova down in the spare room, Jamie and I help Dad in the kitchen, cleaning up, after which we reconvene in the lounge to open the last three gifts.

Dad hands Maria a small box shaped gift wrapped in red with a huge matching red bow. When she opens it and lifts out a dainty gold chain with a locket, her eyes are glistening. She kisses Dad on the cheek then carefully places it in the box.

Then, it’s my turn. With shaking hands, I take the largest of the two remaining gifts out from under the tree and hand it to Jamie. He holds it on his lap and waits for me to sit next to him.

Tearing into the paper, he stops, looks up at me and then down again. A smile stretches across his entire face as he pulls out the brand new black hoodie I chose for him. It’s thicker than the one I permanently borrowed, with a small brand name sewn into the hem and a fleece-like feel inside.

He opens it and holds it out before dropping it into his lap and throwing himself at me.

“I love it, thank you.” He kisses me quick and hard, then pulls back. “It’s perfect.” And because he’s Jamie and his enthusiasm for this day is through the roof, he rips his Christmas jumper over his head and slides the hoodie on. “Now we match,” he says fondly.

Maria takes some photos of us, and one with Sage laying across our laps, wearing the bright jumper Jamie just took off.

“Okay, last gift,” Jamie says, reaching beneath the tree.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I watch as he walks towards me, his hands outstretched. When he reaches me, he stands between my legs and drops a small black box onto my lap. It's the size of an envelope only thicker, similar in depth to the box holding Maria’s new gold chain.

My hands shake as I lift the lid and fold back the thin tissue paper.

At first, I don’t know what I’m looking at, until my mind makes sense of the words and emotion builds thickly in my chest.

“It’s a star. You bought me a star.” Wetness leaks from my eyes and I rub it away before it has a chance to drip onto the star registry certificate. “A star called Cooper.” I take out the certificate and beneath it is a map, with details on the location of my star and how to find it.

Jamie bends onto his haunches, his hands resting on my thighs. In this position, we’re face to face and I can see the scar on his forehead he usually hides with his hair, and the speckles of gold in his green eyes.

“Look for me in the stars,” I say under my breath, soft enough for only him to hear.

Jamie shifts, smiling at me with dark, wet lashes. “Now you know where to look, so you can always find him.”

After moving the certificate off my lap like it’s a fragile rose, I wrap my arms around Jamie’s shoulders and bury my face in his neck.

“Thank you, this is the best gift I could have wished for.” My heart swells, my skin prickles and tears stream down my cheeks, wetting his hoodie. Nothing could ever bring my twin back, but having this little piece of the universe dedicated to him, gives me something incredible - the chance to see him in the place Cooper wanted me to find him.

“You, Caiden Carrington, are the best gift I never even knew to wish for,” Jamie says, a warm, tender, peaceful calm washing over me like a wave brushing the shore.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jamie

My top rides up, leaving my abs to scrape against the hardwood floor as I stretch my arm further under the sofa. Beside me, Ford mimics my position.

“Don’t you even think about it,” I warn the cat. “He’s going to kill me if you kill Basil, so back off.”

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