Page 84 of That One Moment

My heart expands in my chest when Jamie leans over and nips my cheek.

“I’ll show you ridiculous.” He makes a growly noise and I bite back the laugh bubbling in my chest.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Gross, no,” Sage interrupts, throwing the remains of her cracker at us. “As the only single adult at the table, I’m banning any of that stuff today.” She gives us a stern look, then aims the same look at Maria and my dad, who only nod and laugh.

We spend the rest of the meal enjoying casual conversation and more of Jamie’s awful jokes. At some point, Nova falls asleep and Jamie takes her, resting her head on his shoulder while Sage helps Maria serve dessert.

By the time we move to the lounge to open gifts, the sun has set and the lights of the Christmas tree and the roaring fire in the fireplace have created a postcard perfect picture. Maria hands everyone a stocking filled with little gifts, and we take turns opening them before moving on to the larger presents.

“My turn, my turn,” Jamie says, his light up Christmas jumper flashing as he bounds over to the tree and retrieves a large box wrapped in red and green tartan paper. He hands it to his mum then sits on the floor at my feet, his head tipping back searching out a kiss.

Maria tears off the paper, her smile beaming when she reads the side of the box.

“A karaoke machine!” She tears open the box with reckless abandon and I chuckle to myself, seeing exactly where Jamie gets his enthusiasm for Christmas from.

“I saw it on a sale and couldn’t resist. You can hook it up to your phone and download all sorts of tracks.”

“I love it, thank you boys.” Maria gets up and comes over to hug Jamie and then me. I had no idea about this machine, I knew about the spa voucher but this and the VR headset he bought my dad were complete surprises to me. I rest a hand on Jamie’s shoulder and he lays his own over it, entwining our fingers.

Next, it’s Sage’s turn. “Here,” she says, passing Nova to Jamie. Nova grabs for the locks of hair hanging loosely around his ears. Her little hands form fists and tug, causing Jamie to wince.

“No, little baby star, you can’t pull Uncle Jamie’s hair.” He has a battle of releasing Nova’s grip on him, before turning her around and plonking her on the floor between his spread legs. “Let's watch Mummy open your presents,” he says.

Sage picks up the smallest one and I suddenly feel all these tingly butterflies in my stomach. This is the first gift I’ve ever brought someone who wasn’t my twin. She reads the label on it out loud and my cheeks flush with heat.

“To Nova, wishing you a very merry Christmas, love Uncle Caiden.”

All the adult eyes in the room turn on me and I tip my head and look away, embarrassed. When I chose my gifts it wasn’t a case of buying something for the sake of it, for the first time ever, I was choosing things for my family. So maybe, yes, I got all sentimental and shit when I wrote out the labels. And maybe the entire shopping experience - despite being chaotic - had been buoyed on by these warm and fuzzy feelings.

Sage tears the paper, revealing inside a very soft and floppy stuffed zebra. She holds it up for everyone to see.

“This is really beautiful, thank you Caiden,” she says, then gets up and kisses me on the cheek.

“Look at this Nova Bear,” Sage coos, then passes the soft toy to her daughter. Maria, Dad and Jamie all make a big fuss over the gift and the way Nova giggles when Jamie flip-flops it around in front of her.

All the noise in the room - the laughter and chatter, the Christmas music playing softly in the background, Nova’s happy babbling - it all wraps around me, seeping into the cracks and filling them like liquid gold. It’s the most complete I’ve felt since the accident.

It’s overwhelming, the feelings engulfing me. In some ways, it’s too much.

“It was nothing,” I say, my throat dry. My heart beat picks up and I tap my knee restlessly with my hand. Jamie must notice because he gets up, passes Nova to his mum and then sits next to me on the sofa and wraps his arm around me.

“You did good, sunshine,” he says quietly before nuzzling his forehead against my temple. “You okay?”

I nod, my throat feeling thick with emotion.

“Hot chocolate break!” Jamie yells, jumping to his feet and pulling me up from the couch with him. “You all stay here, we’ll bring it through.”

Maria catches Jamie’s eyes, something passing between the two of them before she stretches her legs and says, “I’ll have a mince pie with mine, please.”

In the kitchen, Jamie turns me to face him, walking us back until my ass hits the edge of the counter. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

I try to look away, but his gentle hand on my chin stops me from doing so.

“I forgot, you know?”

His brows furrow, that groove in his forehead that I love so much, appearing. “Forgot what?”

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