Page 69 of That One Moment

While Caiden is in the shower, I head downstairs where I find my mum in the lounge, her kindle in her hand, and music playing softly through the speakers mounted on the wall.

“Morning,” she says, a smirk twisting her lips as I flop into the armchair opposite her. “Good night?”

“Mum,” I deadpan. “Go ahead, say everything you need to. Ask your questions.” I open my hands wide, palms up.

“I don’t actually know where to start. I mean, I guessed something was up when you came home from a ‘work trip’,” she lifts her hands into air quotes around the words, “looking like you had a run in with a vacuum cleaner and then the same day get dumped by your girlfriend. But Caiden?” She rubs the back of her neck, her focus somewhere over my shoulder. “I thought you weren’t in contact with him anymore. And that you hated him!”

“I wasn’t - he called me out of the blue.” I don’t go into the details of who exactly called me or why because that’s not my story to share, so I stick with the basics. “I’ve never hated him. We had our differences, but a lot of time has passed and we’re different people now.”

Studying the backs of my hands as they rub over my knees, I say, “I never expected any of this. I saw him and….things just happened.”

The playfulness in mum’s voice is gone when she speaks again, her tone serious. “You know I don’t have a problem with whoyou date, but Jamie, are you sure you’re doing it for the right reasons?”

“What do you mean?” I grit out defensively, my hands twisting together on my lap.

“Without lying to me, because I’m your mum and I know you’ve been lying to me for years.” Her eyebrows cinch into a straight line, making her delicate features look harsher than usual despite the concern in her eyes. “Have you been to Cooper’s grave yet?”

Her question knocks the air out of me. I thought she’d bought the lies all these years, the fact that she hasn’t makes me question how well I’ve been hiding my pain.

“Don’t look at me like that, Jay. I know Sage is the one who’s been leaving flowers there. I’m not judging you, we all deal with grief in our own way, which is why I’ve not said anything before. My concern here is that you’re using Caiden to fill the gap that Cooper left behind.”

My hands find my hair, tugging on the ends as I close my eyes and try to quell the whirl of emotions bubbling inside me. I haven’t dealt with Cooper’s death yet, but I’m not with Caiden in order to do that. Things with Caiden are different - they’re separate to how I felt or feel about Coop.

“I don’t expect you to understand, mum, but you’re wrong. I may not be over Cooper - not fully - but I’m not using Caiden. He’s not some quick fix to make me feel better. I don’t look at him and think of Cooper and not because they don’t look alike - we all know they do - but because he’s so different to his brother and how I feel is different.”

It’s hard to explain to Mum how he makes me feel when I’m still all over the place in understanding it myself. All I am sure of right now is that when I look at Caiden, I feel happy.

Mum moves to kneel in front of me, both her hands on my knees. Her lavender scent wafts over me and I’m suddenly that little boy again, who looks to his mum for all the answers.

“I like him. Not because of Cooper but because of whoheis. He’s funny, and smart and probably the most annoying person I know but I want to be with him. Isn’t that enough?”

She touches my cheek and I take her hand. “I can’t answer that for you. I just don’t want to see either of you hurt. Lord knows you’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.”

“I know,” I reply, biting my bottom lip. “I’m not going to hurt him.”

Movement in my periphery catches my attention and Mum stands and straightens her pink sundress. Caiden is at the doorway, dressed in his standard black jeans and a neatly pressed navy blue short sleeved shirt. He’s toying with his tongue piercing, his gaze darting from my mum to me and then back again. I don’t know how much he heard but I’ve no doubt he sees the concern in my mum’s eyes.

Standing, I walk over to him and wrap an arm around his waist then brush my lips over his cheek. “You look very handsome, sunshine,” I say. He sighs softly, leaning into my hold. His body trembles, slight enough to go unnoticed had I not been holding him.

“Are you okay?” I whisper.

He presses his cheek to mine so that his lips are near my ear. “Really fucking nervous. What if he doesn’t want me here?”

Loosening my arm from around him, I take his hands and lead him back upstairs and into my room. My hands grip his face, my palms rubbing over the sprinkling of stubble on his cheeks while his hands rest on my chest, one over my heart and the other under my shirt, drawing patterns across my ribs.

“You have every right to feel however you feel, but I promise you, your dad is going to be beyond happy to have you back. I’mnot saying this to make you feel bad.” Caiden’s eyes narrow, little lines appearing around the edges that make him look older than his twenty three years. “But for the last three years, he’s talked about seeing you again, more times than I can count. He wants this. We all do.”

Caiden’s shoulders are tense, but at my words, some of it melts away. While his body is still trembling, his lips have curved into a slow smile. I kiss his forehead, then his nose, then the purple bite mark on his neck.

“That’ll be fun to explain,” I joke, licking over the bruised skin and eliciting the sweetest moan from him. His eyes close and he scratches his nails down my stomach, making the muscles dip and clench. Playfully, I spin Caiden around and pull him so his back is flush against my chest.

“Your dad will be back in less than twenty minutes, how about I help you work some of this tension out?” My hands roam up and down the expanse of his chest, over the smooth fabric of his shirt which clings beautifully to his pecs and delicate muscles.

“Do you think I have time to bend you over my desk and fuck you?” I growl into his ear before biting on his earlobe. Caiden shivers and presses further into me. My hands find the button on his jeans, popping it before sliding down his zipper.

“I’m not sure. You’re good, but you’re not that good,” he quips. My hand snakes up his chest, coming to land on his Adam’s apple. I squeeze gently, loving the way his body relaxes in my hold.

“You shouldn’t test me, sunshine. You may not walk away unscathed,” I say, hunger thick in my voice. Caiden chuckles and squirms his ass back so it’s rubbing against my erection. With one hand gripping his neck, I use the other to pull his cock from his boxers, jerking it in slow, torturous movements.

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