Page 59 of That One Moment

“Jamie, please,” Caiden rasps.

“What do you need?” Mouthing the head of his cock, I dip my tongue into the slit and lap up a salty drop of precum. His hips jolt upwards, and his hands push on my head until his cock slides right into my mouth and hits the back of my throat - showing me exactly what he wants and needs.

Taking him deep, hollowing my cheeks, I suck until his legs quake and his hands loosen in my hair.

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” he chants. His breathing picks up and I pull away before he can reach that inevitable peak. Caiden whines and I sit back on my knees and rub up and down his thighs.

Light streaks through the window, casting him in a glow that makes him look unreal, ethereal, like a dream I’ve never dared to have. Cooper may have been his identical twin but everything about Caiden is different - more intense - from the sounds he makes, to the way he smells, to the sweet and salty taste of hisskin. My body hums with a mixture of arousal and delight as my eyes feast on his pale, flushed body.

My cock throbs and I finally pay it attention, stroking it a few times and rubbing the tip of it over his hole.

“Condom?” I ask.

Caiden takes a second, his chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. He shakes his head. “I’ve never…never not used one and I got tested after….that one time.” That anger I experienced the night I hit the guy who hurt him, makes a sudden and unwelcome appearance, swirling in my gut, and I clench my jaw and turn away from Caiden. I don’t want this moment to be ruined by that creep.

“Same for me,” I say. “It’s been a long time since I went without, not since…” Caiden doesn’t make me finish the sentence, he simply reaches onto the bed next to him and tosses me the lube.

I make quick work of opening him, basking in the feel of his warmth and the whimpers he exhales as he fucks himself on my fingers. When he feels ready, I pour more lube onto my cock and slide inside him. He’s warm and tight and my heart beats erratically as I pause to let him adjust to me.

Covering Caiden’s body with mine, I trap his cock between my stomach and his and thrust deep and quick, snapping my hips. Need builds in my blood, and my mind shouts at me to fuck him harder. To own him. To make him forget anyone else before me.

Caiden’s legs wrap around my hips, holding me to him, and I wrap one hand around his throat, as I look deep into his eyes.

“Tap my side if you need me to stop, okay?” I tighten my grip, restricting his airways, not enough to stop him breathing but hard enough for him to feel my control.

“Fly for me, sweetheart.”

Caiden’s eyes roll before fluttering closed and I hover my lips over his, not kissing him but breathing in his air. Sharing thevery life force from his lungs. Heat blooms in my veins and my balls draw up tight, tingles starting in the pit of my stomach.

He starts to swirl his hips, meeting my thrusts, whining from deep in his chest like a needy animal as his hands grip onto my shoulders for purchase. My movements speed up and his lips find my neck. He torments me with bites and kisses until he’s grunting, thick warmth coating my stomach as he comes for me again.

“Good boy, Caiden. Cover me in your cum. That’s it.”

He latches onto my neck with a punishing grip, teeth breaking skin, and my body tenses, blood roaring in my ears as pleasure ricochets through me. I come deep inside him, emptying my load and coating his channel in me. I pull out, slide my fingers inside him and scoop up my cum, then leisurely wipe it over his stomach, mixing it with his. His eyes widen and I smile at his fucked out expression and the red marks on his pale, slender throat.

We’re sticky with sweat and cum, the room stifling hot in the July sunshine. But still, I lie next to him, gather him into my arms and kiss the top of his head.

“We’re a mess,” Caiden jokes, his voice hoarse and I hum a response under my breath. Not really sure if he means physically or in general. Quite possibly both.

Cooper smiles at me. He’s sitting on the edge of a hot tub, snow falling behind him. “I could stay here forever with you,” he says, reaching out for me. I lace my hands with his and pull him into the water and onto my lap. The warm water swirls around us and he laughs, his head thrown back with delight.

“We can do that, baby,” I say, kissing his neck.

“No, Jamie. We can’t. Don’t you know, silly? We don’t have forever.” When I lean back to look at him, he’s not on my lap and I can’t see him anywhere. The water is red with blood and I move frantically through it, looking for him.

“Cooper! Cooper!” I shout, tears clogging up my throat, making it harder and harder to yell.

Caiden pulls me out of the water and I stumble into him, clinging to his hoodie. He has blood dripping down his forehead and a sad smile. “Everything ends, Jamie. Everything.”

I shoot up in bed, sweat soaked and panic stricken, momentarily forgetting where I am. It’s not until someone shifts next to me and I notice a mop of black hair fanned out over the pillow that I remember. Caiden stirs but he doesn’t wake. My body trembles and silent tears fall as I slide out of bed and pad barefoot into the kitchen.

Nightmares are nothing new but they’re getting more frequent and more vivid. Thankfully, Caiden is a deep sleeper and hasn’t noticed, because I’d hate for him to know that I dream about losing Cooper most nights. A week has passed since he joined me in the shower, setting off days filled with sex, food and more sex. We talk and joke but never about the things we really need to address - never about what we’re doing, what this means. And never about Cooper, or our parents or Rachel. I think we’re both too scared to burst the bubble.

Everything ends, Jamie. Everything.Caiden’s words from my dream haunt me as I take a soda out of the fridge.

This thing between us, the way we've been living and mostly ignoring the world, isn't sustainable. I know it and so does he.

Caiden goes to work each morning and I do what I can remotely. When he gets home, we eat and fuck and sleep and watch true crime documentaries until we're exhausted, and then we wake and do it all again.

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