Page 52 of That One Moment

I’m at the front door when he finally speaks. “I didn’t deserve to be a part of your family.” He sniffs, and his voice cracks, and it’s all I can do not to pull him into my arms and hold him. “That’s why I left. You, Duncan, your mum, Cooper - you were a family - I never wanted any part of it. How could I suddenly claim a spot just because he died?”

His eyes plead with me to understand but I don’t think I do because we tried so hard to include him.Hewas the one who pushed away, even when Cooper was the one pulling him in.

“You could have stayed, could have given us a chance. Hell, you could have given us a chance all the times Cooper asked you to. But, I think you wrote us off long before Cooper died.” I try to keep my voice even but it’s not easy and even to my own ears, I hear the hurt in my words.

There is so much more to say, but I don’t get a chance because the front door swings open and a short blond guy comes barging in, bringing with him the scent of coffee.

“Jesus, Caiden. How many times do I have to tell you to lock -” The blond's words fade away when he sees me. “Oh! Hi. You’re not Caiden.”

“No shit,” I say, the hairs on the back of my neck rising as I stand a little taller. Did Caiden really call another guy overafter last night? Fuck, it doesn’t matter, it’s not up to me who Caiden fucks, I’ll be out of his life again soon. The blond isn’t intimidated by me in the slightest. He saunters over and pats my cheek before sidestepping me.

I follow his movements as he walks up to Caiden and hands him a cup of takeaway coffee. “Cade babe, whoever this guy is, total golden-retriever-with-rabies vibe. I approve.” The making of a smile plays on Caiden’s lips when the guy pulls him into a hug. They fall into a series of whispers which I can’t make out, and I stand at the door like a fucking third wheel, torn between leaving and demanding some answers from the guy now rubbing his hands up and down Caiden’s arms. He takes Caiden’s injured arm in his hand and pulls up the sleeve of my hoodie, then he tugs Caiden into another hug.

Clearing my throat, I watch the embrace, Caiden’s eyes finding me over the guy's shoulder. “Jamie, this is my best friend, Darius,” Caiden says once they’ve broken apart. He waves a hand at me. “And Darius, this is Jamie. My uh…my brother’s…my… uh…This is Jamie.”

Darius raises one impressively high eyebrow, looking from me to Caiden and then back again.

“Jamie? As in, the stepbrother, Jamie?” It’s a simple question but it throws me off guard long enough for Caiden to jump in and answer. All I can think about is that Caiden told him about me.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jamie. I’m sorry for my unannounced visit.” He faces Caiden. “Though, I told you I would be here on Sunday, and seriously, lock your fucking door. One day it will be an axe murderer who walks in and not your best friend.”

That mini, pseudo smile flits on Caiden’s face again. “Axe murderer?” he asks, and Darius laughs. It’s rich and warm and so carefree, I find myself envious.

Darius shrugs, “I watch too many true crime documentaries. Shit has me paranoid with a capital p. Anyway, I’ve come to take you out for lunch.” He places the back of his hand on Caiden’s forehead, the same way my mum has done to me countless times. “If you’re feeling up to it.”

“I’m fine,” Caiden says, batting Darius’s hand away. “I had a concussion, not a fever and….” He looks at his wrist. “And I’m fine. Lunch sounds nice.”

“Great!” Darius bends down to scratch Ford’s head, the cat having appeared from somewhere to demand attention. “Join us?” he asks, looking up at me.

My eyes find Caiden’s and he raises a brow, letting me make the call. Ten minutes ago, I was leaving - the decision made - even if it’s not what I truly wanted. Darius throwing me this line gives me an excuse to delay my departure at least by a few hours.

“I’d like that, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, mate. Caiden’s paying.” Darius smirks at his best friend and I decide right then that I like this guy.

Lunch is at a pub on the river. The Beer and Barrel has a blackboard outside that boastsKingston’s Best Sunday Roastin bold white writing, so I put them to the test and order the lamb roast. Darius and Caiden sit opposite me and I watch, a cold beer in my hand as the two of them joke about Caiden’s habit of taking in strays before bickering about who paid for lunch last time. This is a side of Caiden I’ve only ever seen with Cooper, and while it hurts a little that he had to leave to find it again, I can’t be anything but happy that he has Darius in his life. In the end, Darius bats his eyes at me and I find myself agreeing to footthe bill. Caiden punches his friend on the shoulder but shoots me a crooked grin which sets my blood on fire.

My body reacts to Caiden in a way I hadn’t expected, and I take a huge chug of beer to try and wash away the visceral reaction he has on me. Not for the first time, I wonder if these feelings are wrong. There’s no rule book on what to do when you become infatuated with your dead boyfriend's twin. And is this even infatuation or am I just being ridiculous? Maybe it's relief that I've finally gotten to apologise and that I can go home and tell Duncan his son, who he hasn't seen in years, is okay.

That excuse feels like I'm lying to myself, and I'm so sick of doing that.

Three days ago, Caiden was nothing but a memory that kept resurfacing and now…..now I can’t stop thinking about him. I know what people will think - that all of this is about Cooper. I can’t deny that Caiden looks like him but I’m honest enough to admit that Caiden’s sudden hold on me has nothing to do with the man who's had my heart in his hands, even in death.

Darius laughs and ruffles Caiden’s hair, and I’m pulled from my thoughts. The two of them are affectionate with each other but it’s playful, they give each other shit and I’m sure there’s a story there that I’m not privy to. It reminds me that there is a lot about Caiden I don’t know. So much of what I do know about him was a novel of stories others had told me and judgements I’d made.

My phone buzzes against my leg but I ignore it, until it buzzes again and I get this sense of panic that it could be Sage calling. When I chance a look, it’s not - it’s Rachel, and I feel instantly guilty for not answering. Pocketing my phone, I look up and catch Caiden’s eyes on me, his brows pulled tightly together.

“What do you do, Jamie?” Darius asks, my gaze moving to him. He pops an onion ring into his mouth and smiles at me at the same time.

“I’m an office administrator for a legal firm.” I don’t meet Caiden’s eyes, instead I focus on a droplet of water running down the outside of my glass.

“Not an architect?” Caiden asks, and the surprise in his voice has my cheeks heating. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my job - it’s a fine job - but I’m ashamed of how quickly my dreams became a distant memory.

“Um, no. I never finished my degree. After…” I shake my head. “No, not an architect.”

Silence falls across the table, my broken dreams a surefire way to dampen the mood.

“What about you?” I ask Darius in an attempt to get conversation flowing again.

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