Page 31 of That One Moment

I’m hurriedly rushing to get out the front door because I can’t be the reason they’re arguing, when Jamie catches up to me. His hand rests on my arm, a fiery brand on my already warm skin.

“Just wait, Caiden.” He sighs heavily, resigned and disappointed. “Your brother is helping clear away the food andthen we’ll come with you.” His hand on me makes my stomach swoop like it does when you’re on a rollercoaster and it hurts when he removes it to run it through his messy brown hair. I liked the fleeting comfort he brought me. That thought scares me and I take a step back, putting a larger distance between us.

“I’m sorry,” I say, because I am. I’m sorry Cooper always worries about me. I’m sorry he can read me so well. I’m sorry my fake smiles don’t work on him. I’m sorry that I want to go alone but also so badly want to know they’re with me too. I’m just sorry.

“Try not to fuck up. We both know he’s only going because he’s worried about you. You have that lost look in your eyes again.” He shuffles closer to me and I try not to let his scent invade me. “I can see something's wrong - your eyes speak volumes. You're not the sum of your saddest moments, Caiden. You're so much more. So much stronger.” His words have no right to anchor me the way they do. To hold me fast against the tidewater that laps at my feet, dragging me to drown. “Please, for him, just try okay?”

Jamie Durand makes me feel a million different things and I both love it and fucking hate it. Opening my mouth to respond, maybe tell him to fuck off - because all other words are lost - I snap it shut again instead and nod.

As it is, I am already planning to get fucked by someone Cooper hates and has told me to stay away from so, I’m not off to a good start as it is.

“Okay, let's go. You good to drive or shall I sort a rideshare?” Cooper sidles up to Jamie but they don’t hug like they usually do and I hate that I put a fissure in their relationship.

“I’ll drive,” Jamie says curtly, grabbing his keys and heading out the front door. Cooper flinches but tries to smile as though I can’t see the way his bottom lip trembles. I mouth an apology and he nods then follows Jamie.

***

We’re thirty minutes late by the time we get to the party and I am relieved when Oliver sends a message to say he’ll be a little later because he got caught up ‘doing a thing’, whatever that means. Now that I’m here and dancing with my twin, as Jamie watches us like a bouncer with his eyes on a rowdy stag do, I’m content with it just being the two of us for a bit. Almost like it was before Maria, before Jamie. In this moment, I don’t feel like I’m drowning.

“He’s going to forgive you, isn’t he?” I ask, leaning closer to Cooper so he can hear me over the techno music. He wipes strands of dark hair from his eyes as he nods.

“It’s the first time we’ve argued.” He does a little spin, catching Jamie’s eye before spinning back to me. “But we love each other, this isn’t big enough to tear us apart.” He throws another glance over his shoulder and Jamie shuffles on his feet. They are sickeningly in love and even though Jamie’s mouth is set into a solid line, his eyes don’t move from my brother. Though I can’t see the deep green of his eyes from here, I know that they’re shining with love for my twin. Jealousy bubbles in my chest so I shoot back my drink in an effort to ignore it.

Two songs pass before Jamie steps away from the wall, straightens his black polo, and joins us on the dancefloor. Coming up behind my brother, he throws his arms around Cooper’s waist, pulls them flush together, then buries his face in Cooper’s neck. Coop smiles like he’s just won the lotto then spins in Jamie’s arms, bringing them face to face. Jamie’s wandering hands lift the back of Cooper’s baby blue shirt and he draws lines up and down his spine.

I can’t hear what they’re saying, but Jamie nods and leans in to kiss Cooper again. Their kiss lingers, Cooper rubbing himself against Jamie while Jamie paws at his ass. Heat rises in mycheeks and I turn around so I’m not gawking at my twin and his boyfriend.

With any luck, Oliver will get here soon and I’ll be able to ditch these two for ten minutes to get fucked. Alcohol swims in my blood, my body humming with the effects and I check my phone again to see if he's arrived. The lube I fingered into my ass between eating a burger and leaving the house is slick and sticky as I shake my body on the dancefloor. Oliver may not offer me what those two have but it'll be something. It'll be hot and dirty and for just a slither of time the added hit of dopamine will make this knot in my chest loosen.

“Do you want a drink?” Jamie’s voice in my ear makes me jump and I spin around and press my hand to his chest without realising what I’m doing. His body is hard, and I can feel the faint beating of his heart. My touch lingers, my fingers flexing against the fabric of his shirt. He looks down at where we’re connected and I hurriedly drop my hand and nod. “Keep an eye on your brother okay? I’ll be right back.”

Cooper is talking to a girl he met earlier this evening and is now trying to do the floss. They’re laughing uncontrollably and his uncoordinated moves has him knocking a guy in the stomach. He apologises profusely before bending over and laughing even harder. I love how my twin is so easy going, so quick to make friends and how he so openly loves and laughs. Not for the first time, I wish I was more like him.

The room is really hot and it feels like Jamie is taking ages to come back so we take a break, moving away from the crowd of dancers. My skin is damp, my shirt sticking to me uncomfortably as I press my back to the exposed brick wall. Cooper is distracted for a minute when the same girl from earlier comes over to speak to him. I lean my arm against the wall, turning to face him while he chats animatedly with her.

A hand lands on my waist, the hold rough and unfamiliar yet also not. The blood in my veins turns to ice when the person speaks, but it's the scent, as he leans in closer, that has the blood draining from my face.

“Well shoot me down and call me lucky, there’s two of you. Holy shit.” Kyle’s warm breath hits my cheek as his other hand grazes my ass. I’m frozen in fear. I looked into Medusa's eyes and now I’m stone, frozen and unable to move my feet as his hands roam my body. My mind screams at me to move, to run, but I can’t.

“Caiden?” Cooper’s eyes widen when he turns back to me. He grits his teeth then grabs my arm and tugs me forward, until I’m behind him. My stomach cramps and the familiar taste of bile rises in my throat as I’m bombarded by memories of that night. Of Kyle’s hands on my body, his cum on my back and his rancid breath against my skin.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Cooper, my fearless other half, steps forward and jabs a finger into Kyle’s chest. “You’re the one who hurt him.” Kyle’s reply is a smirk that makes my stomach churn even more. He looks proud and satisfied, like he didn’t take a part of me that I was never offering.

“He loved every minute of it.” He grips Cooper’s finger and I hate that he’s touching my brother. Hate that hands that can cause so much pain are anywhere near someone so good. “How about you come with me and I’ll show you?”

A flash of movement from my side causes me to take a step back and suddenly there’s shouting and Kyle is thrown against the wall. He lunges forward, taking a swing at Jamie, but Jamie pushes him back until he hits the wall again.

“Don’t you fucking touch him,” Jamie growls, then brings his arm back and punches Kyle in the jaw. Cooper tries to get in between them before Kyle can hit back but he gets pushed and trips, landing roughly on the floor. Jamie hits Kyle again andeverything becomes a blur as all my attention focuses on my twin. By the time I’ve helped Cooper up, Kyle’s friends have pulled him away and Jamie is breathing heavily, cradling his right hand.

With an arm wrapped around Cooper, I reach for Jamie and start tugging him. “We need to leave, now.” He nods but stops a few steps later to grab Cooper.

“Are you okay, baby?” Jamie runs his hands down Cooper’s cheeks and neck, checking him over. The hard look in his eyes says he’ll rip Kyle to shreds if he finds even a scratch on my brother.Must be nice to have someone who cares like that.

It takes us less than five minutes to reach the car, and by the time I do, Jamie realises the predicament we’re in. “I can’t drive, my hand is fucked.” I’m far too drunk to offer.

“I’ll drive, I only had soda tonight,” Cooper offers. He’s not a huge fan of driving, he very seldom does, but right now he’s the only one who can. It’s dark out but it’s dry and the winding roads in this part of town are usually quiet at night.

Jamie slides into the passenger seat, cursing at his seat belt as he tries to use his injured hand before pushing it away with a huff. I take the seat directly behind my twin. Cooper starts the car, indicates, then checks his mirror before pulling into the street. Jamie catches my eyes in the rearview mirror and I tip my head at him.

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