Page 16 of That One Moment

It’s fucked up, I know it, but I don’t know what else to do. Some days the world overwhelms me and this is my only reprieve. This or… I shake my head against the thought. No matter how much my life sucks, no matter how many times I close my eyes and wish the world would stop spinning, I could never leave Cooper.

Pulling my hand from my jeans, I wipe the blood on the damp grass then pull out my phone, resigned to the fact that I’ll have to either disturb him or go home where I know Dad will level me with his usual look of concern when he finds out that Mum stood me up. Again. He'll be waiting for me to crash, because I always do. Cooper is no different though, I see the pity in his eyes everytime he gathers the broken shards of me off the floor. I see it, I hate it but I'm powerless to change, always stuck on this hamster wheel.

Before I have a chance to call anyone though, I notice a group chat I’m in is going off with loads of notifications. Scrolling through, I see that Alison someone - not sure we’ve met - ishaving a party at her parents' place a few roads over from the university campus. Suddenly, I know where I'm headed.

It’s the perfect distraction.

There’s a few people I recognise, a few who wave when they see me but I don’t stop to talk, instead, making a beeline for the bar. It’s been set up in the kitchen and it looks like Alison or her parents, who must be bankrolling this party, have gone overboard. My drink of choice is vodka and I mix myself one with some lime and water before taking a few shots neat. The bitter liquid burns as it goes down but I don’t stop until I’ve had three and there’s a nice buzz in my blood. I mull around for a while, making my way to the basement where some kids are playing spin the bottle, while others watch.

I have only one plan for the evening - to drink until the pit in my stomach eases and the darkness hovering over me recedes. It's a simple plan that's worked before.

You'll just end up needing Cooper to rescue you,I think to myself, but the guilt isn't strong enough to stop me, not right now.

Some guys in t-shirts with their university logo on are playing beer pong and I sidle up to one - he’s tall, broad shouldered, with shaggy, dirty blond hair and a five o’clock shadow. He stills when he senses me next to him, his brown eyes raking up and down my body before coming to meet my eyes.

“Can I join you?” I ask, gesturing to the game. He licks his lips then looks at the other guys before nodding. “Sure, I’m already partnered up with Sam,” he points to a dark haired guy who is currently opening two bottles of beer then gestures towards agood looking brunet guy leaning against the wall with a joint in hand. “But Blake needs a partner, so join him?”

Blake smiles when I get closer and hands me the joint. I inhale deeply, letting it burn my lungs, before exhaling. My body feels light and as I walk over to take my turn at the table, I sway a little, laughing as I picture myself on a cloud. My game partner raises an amused brow at me as I take aim and miss the table entirely.

“Oops,” I say, downing one of our red cups. Blake doesn’t look impressed but the blond is watching me from his side of the table with a lopsided smile.

The other team completely annihilates us, and by the time I take my last shot and miss all the cups they still have standing, Blake throws up his hands, completely exasperated.

“Dude,” he says. “Have you ever actually played this before? You were so bad, I don’t even…” he shakes his head. “No, nope, I need a new partner.” His words are slurred and a laugh hiccups out of me again because fuck, I really do suck at beer pong. I don’t tell him it’s only my second time playing or that I have very poor hand/eye coordination, especially after all the drinks.

The world tips left, then right, then spins on its axis and my eyes struggle to focus so I grab onto the table to stop myself from falling.

“You alright there, bud?” The blond guy from earlier grips my arm. He smells like weed and beer, and a little sweaty but there’s also a lingering smell of coffee or something herby there. I can’t make it out but I lean in closer.

“I’m fine. You smell interesting.” My nose is pressed to his neck and though it's probably inappropriate, I kiss the skin there.

He chuckles, but instead of pushing me off him, I feel my feet move as he pulls me along, up the stairs and down the corridor, pausing in the kitchen.

“Shot?” he asks, then hands me a glass containing a hazel liquid. My head is hazy but I'm conscious enough to know I should probably quit drinking. I take the shot. Then the next one and then one more.

Swaying on my feet, I grip the kitchen counter and hang my head, willing the world to just stop. Blond guy takes my arm and wordlessly starts dragging me back down the dim corridor. Everything goes by in a blur, the music is loud and it hurts my head. My stomach turns and I can feel all the alcohol swishing inside it, reminding me that I never actually ate in the end.

“I’m going to take you somewhere private, that okay?” The guy holding me up asks and I nod. He places a hand on the small of my back, then slides it down and squeezes my ass. My dick twitches, taking an interest in his attention, though it's a fleeting bolt of arousal, drowned out by the ache in my stomach. We reach a small, neatly made up bedroom, and the guy pushes me in, then turns and locks the door.

A laugh works its way up my throat even though nothing is funny, and I put a hand out to steady myself against the wall. The room is dimly lit and the bed in the center of it looks so inviting.

“What’s your name?” My words slur and my legs threaten to give out, but the guy catches me and hauls me against his solid chest.

“You can call me Kyle,” he says, then he slams his lips against mine and my head hits the wall with a crack. Kyle’s kiss is sloppy, his tongue fighting for entry into my mouth as his hands work hastily to undo my jeans. His mouth tastes like cigarettes and stale beer and I don’t like it at all. He pulls down my zipper and starts pushing at my boxers. My cock is not hard and I don’t want this. I want to leave.

“Please stop,” I beg. It’s like he doesn’t hear me though as he pulls my soft cock out of my boxers. I move my hands to comebetween us and he grips them roughly then holds them above my head in one of his.

“Don’t be like that, you came in here with me. You wanted me.” Using his free hand, he undoes his jeans and pulls out his rock hard cock. It brushes against mine and I cringe. I don’t like guys touching my dick. I don’t like them sucking me or getting anywhere near my thighs. If I let them fuck me, it’s always from behind and never when it’s light enough for them to see my skin. But I don’t want that now.

Tears well in my eyes as Kyle takes both our cocks in his hand and starts jacking them together. The feel of his heat where I don't want it makes me jerk, my hands and my stomach muscles tense, begging me to curl into myself. But, his grip on my hands is too tight, my body his prisoner against the wall. He starts kissing my neck and rubbing his stubble roughly against my skin before he bites at me like the predator that he is.

“Please don’t do this.” Tears pour down my cheeks, but he doesn’t stop. He’s working our cocks harder and faster and it hurts, the dry friction against my soft cock hurts. “Stop, please, please,” I beg and beg and keep begging but all I’m doing is angering him. And turning him on until his hold on me is so painful, I feel it in my whole body.

Kyle drops our cocks and my hands and I breathe a short lived sigh of relief before he grips me roughly around the neck. “You wanted this, you came on to me then willingly followed me here.” His nostrils flare as he speaks and he squeezes tighter. My vision starts to blur, black dots dancing on the periphery. I gasp and scratch at his hands, feeling the skin give way beneath my nails but he doesn't even flinch.

I want to go home. My mouth opens and closes, like a fish out of water as I beg for both air and for him to stop.

“That’s it, cry for me. No one will hear you and your tears make me so fucking hard.”

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