Page 18 of Trial Run

“Of course.” Ben kept his tone casual. “That’s why I called Cameron and had him set up some in-office appointments for me.”

“Really?” Vanessa’s voice rose with excitement. “That’s great news, Ben.”

“Yes, really.” He swallowed. “By next Monday, I’ll be back, at least part time.”

He’d instructed Cameron to book him for one or two appointments in the mornings, not the full day. He might not be ready for that yet.

“This is wonderful news. And … you’re sure everything’s okay?” A hint of uncertainty crept into her tone.

“Everything’s fine, like I told you. I’m ready to get back to the office.” He was absolutely not ready.

“Well. It’ll be great to have you back.”

“I’ll see you next week.”

Ben clicked off the call and paced back into his living room. He stood halfway between the kitchen and the stairs, studying the shelves holding his rock collection. All the walks he’d gone on with Leah, looking for sparkly stones. All the times he’d stopped mid-run to pick up a piece of quartz she’d like. His little sister had always had a weakness for things that glittered, and he’d always taken care of his sister.

The one-year anniversary of her death was only a few weeks away now, and he owed it to her memory to pull himself together.

So he’d taken the step of calling Cameron, officially committing himself to going back to work in person. He’d also booked his plane tickets to Chicago, clicking the purchase button before he had time to back out. He would go on that trip. Even though he’d only left his home once in the last month.

Today’s van ride with Nell had been the first step. If he could go out once, he could do it again. Doubtless, increasing his anxiety medication had helped him avoid a panic attack today, but so had Nell’s steady, cheerful presence.

Still, he’d been right to call off any future outings with her. The danger of one of his patients spotting him was too great. He’d never survive the embarrassment if they figured out whyhe’d been absent, why he’d needed to send the flowers in the first place.

But the look on Nell’s face as they’d parted ate at him. She’d looked … shattered. He rubbed the center of his chest, where an ache had formed under his breastbone. She’d shared some of her past with him, with hints of painful memories.

Everything in him had wanted to ask her more, to have another chance to talk to her. And not because he wanted to help her as a therapist. He could see her becoming a friend, and friends listened to each other’s problems.

But he couldn’t involve her any more in his own issues. She didn’t need to see any more of his anxiety, and she definitely wasn’t responsible for hiding him from his patients. She wasn’t even supposed to have him in the van with her. It was better this way, with him handling his problems on his own.

If only he had proof he could leave the house by himself. Tomorrow, he’d make himself try it alone, even if it killed him.

But he didn’t get the chance to try it alone, because the next morning, at 8:30 sharp, Nell rang his doorbell.

He went to the door and pulled it open as if he’d been expecting her, which was ridiculous, because he hadn’t been. Still, his heart jumped under his tie at the sight of her, in her leggings, T-shirt, and ponytail, face free of makeup and looking up at him cautiously, as if she wasn’t sure of her welcome.

“Good morning.” His voice came out rough around the edges, and he cleared his throat.

“Good morning. I’m here to take you out again.” Her voice lifted on the last word, edging it into a question.

“I don’t … I told you yesterday—”

“Not for a delivery,” she rushed on. “It’s for a … pick-up? I have an errand to do before I start the flower deliveries today, and I thought you might want to come. For the practice. If that would work for you?”

“A pick-up?”

“It’s just some plants I need to relocate. But you wouldn’t have to see any of your patients, and you’d get out of the house again.” Her expression was open, pleading with him to agree, as if she really wanted him to come along.

“Why did you come back?”

Her gaze shifted to the side. “Because I promised I’d help you. In exchange for the commission.”

Of course. She still felt indebted to him. It had nothing to do with the strange, one-sided feeling of connection he’d developed yesterday, talking with her.

“I suppose I could come on an errand.”

Relief brightened her expression. “That’s great. Whenever you’re ready.”

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