Page 76 of Play Pretend

“She’ll talk when she’s ready to talk.”

“We need to?—”

“Toby, get the fuck out.”

To my utter shock, Toby actually stepped out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Ronan didn’t move. He didn’t pull away. He didn’t do anything but hold me and promise me I was safe.

ronan

My navy-blue jacket swallowed Willow, making her look so small. So lost. So scared. I fucking hated that I couldn’t do anything to take that fear from her.

I’d been fighting memories from five years ago all night. They clawed at my mind, reminding me of everything I’d done wrong—again.

I’d missed another call—another call that could’ve ended inpermanentdeath.

I stared at Willow, unable to do anything else. I knew she was tired of me hovering, so I forced myself to sit behind my desk, but all I wanted was to be right by her side. I wanted to touch her, to make sure she was still whole, that she was still here. Alive. Breathing.

I clicked my pen seven times, took a breath, then did it again. I couldn’t stop moving, bouncing, tapping, clicking.

I fucked up again.

I kept replaying the fear in her eyes when I shone my flashlight on her face for the first time. I could still feel the way she’d punched and kicked me, the way she’d scratched me, fighting for her life. She’d been shaking, and tears were streaming down her face, but she never stopped.

She screamed like she was being murdered, and I swore it was a sound I’d hear in my nightmares for the rest of my life.

Before we left her house, I helped her find clothes to put on so she wasn’t in her nightie at the station. I didn’t think she even noticed or cared that her clothes were so minimal and revealing, and that there were five men trying not to look at her.

The second I saw one of my deputies checking her out for a minute too long, I took him aside and ripped into him.

No one looked at her again.

Willow held her arms tightly around herself as she stared at the wall, the fluorescent lights washing out her usually rosy complexion. Her hair was tied in a messy side braid, and her lips were shredded from constantly chewing on them. But it was her eyes I couldn’t stop staring at.

Dark half-moons sat under them, but there was a faraway look that gutted me. I knew she was reliving those moments over and over, and I knew what that was like.

She’d been alone. I hadn’t been there. I’d let her down, and Ihatedmyself for it.

There was another break-in yesterday, but it was different than the others. Instead of taking random harmless things, the perp had stolen a gun. Which meant I needed to find him and retrieve it before he sold it, or worse—used it.

I’d been at the crime scene all morning, and right when I got back to the station, I was called into a meeting with the city manager and mayor to talk about the break-ins. They tore into me about why they were still happening, and about the fact that the perp was clearly escalating. Like I didn’t fucking know that already. My deputies and I were trying our hardest to find this guy, but he was like a damn ghost.

When I got out of the meeting, I put my head down and worked all day. I just wanted to catch the asshole and put an end to everything.

But none of those were good enough reasons to ignore Willow. I hadn’t intentionally ignored her, but I’d been so wrapped up in my own shit that I hadn’t even seen her text. It wasn’t until I heard our address on the radio that I realized something was wrong. And then I saw the text and dropped everything.

I’d never driven so fast before. I went dangerously over the speed limit to get to her first. My heart was pumping so hard, so fast, I thought it was about to give out. It took every ounce of strength and training I had to not sprint into the house and just find her. Doing a proper sweep killed me, but I knew it was the safest thing I could’ve done.

“Willow?” She jumped at the sound of Trinity’s voice, and I shot to my feet. Willow peered up at my sister, a shaky smile curving her lips. “I brought you this.” Trin crouched as she held out a bottle of water. Her voice was soft, like she was speaking to a frightened animal, and I clenched my jaw.

Idid this.Ifucked up.Icaused Willow to look like that, and Trinity to speak like that.

It was all my fault.

“Thanks,” Willow whispered.

It shook in her hand as she tried to open it, and the longer I watched her struggle, the more it just upset me. I tried to keep myself calm as I approached, not wanting to scare her, but it was hard. I wanted to hunt this motherfucker down more than ever.

She wasmineto protect, and I’d failed her.

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