Page 66 of Play Pretend

“You’re fixing it?” she asked, and I tilted my head to the side.

“Yes…?” Did she not want me to fix it? She blinked a few times as she took a deep breath. “Is that alright?”

A humorless laugh left her. “Of course it’s alright. No one has ever—” She waved dismissively, cutting herself off. “It doesn’t matter. Thank you.”

It took me only a few minutes to grease the hinges, put the oil back in my toolbox, and grab the sack of fertilizer from her back seat. She was quiet as she walked by my side, her eyes on the ground.

“Where do you want this?” I asked, following her to her door.

“In the backyard, please.” Her voice was distant. I didn’t know how to fix this, how to make her feel better. I tapped my fingers against the plastic bag as I trudged through her house. When we walked outside, I paused.

Our spaces were identical, mirrored layouts, but they couldn’t be more different. Her place was lived in, warm, homey. Mine was cold and sterile. But her backyard was like a sanctuary. I’d never seen anything like it before.

Plants overflowed on her back deck. They lined the three steps down into the yard, where there were a few chairs in a circle in the middle. A couple oversized chairs sat against the back wall, but the fence we shared overflowed with plants.

Vines crawled up the wood, the leaves vibrant green and flowers oversaturated. Fairy lights were strung up around the yard, and I could clearly picture how they would twinkle in the night.

I dropped the bag where Willow indicated, and I stepped down into her yard to get a closer look at everything. She stayed on the deck, her gaze tracking me as I took it all in.

“Your place is…” I scrubbed my hand over my mouth.

“I know they’re all dying,” she blurted. “And I’m sorry it’s always such a mess. I try to be quiet—so I don’t disturb you—when I’m talking to them, but I can’t not do it, you know? I read online that talking to them helps them grow.”

I turned toward her, finding her twisting her hands tightly together in front of her. “You talk to them?” Was that who she was talking to the other night? Was that who she was always talking to?

She shrugged. “I think it’s working,” she muttered.

“I think so, too.”

Truthfully, I hadn’t realized any of the plants were even dying. The ones on the front porch definitely were, but I knew those were the babies. They were struggling, so she kept them inthe front where they’d get the most sunlight. I only knew any of that because she’d told me one day when she was setting up her little nursery.

I continued walking around the perimeter of the yard, stopping at the gate. It was latched shut, but it didn’t look secure. “I’ll get a new lock for this,” I said, tapping on the door.

“You don’t have to?—”

“Knowing you’re safe will help me sleep better.”

Her mouth clamped shut. Shit. Was I doing too much? Probably. But I was serious. Knowing this gate wasn’t as secure as I needed it to be would only make me spiral, but I didn’t have anything I needed to fix it, so I’d have to do it another day.

I made my way back across the yard and up the steps, stopping just a few feet from her. She lifted her eyes to mine, a soft smile on her pretty face.

“Thanks, Ronan,” she whispered. I tapped my middle finger against my thumb to keep from reaching for her.

“No problem, shortcake.”

Silence stretched between us as I searched for something to say, some way to prolong this visit. But what else was there? She asked for a favor, and I did it. Staying longer than she wanted was weird and would only make her uncomfortable.

I ran my fingers through my hair. “I guess I’ll just head home,” I said, jerking my chin toward my half of the house.

“I’d invite you to stay for dinner, but I need to get groceries.” She laughed. “All I have is instant ramen.”

I didn’t want to tell her that sounded a hell of a lot better than whatever the fuck I had waiting for me in the freezer. Instant ramen would be the only home-cooked meal I’d had in…a long time.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” I smiled gently, my fingers tapping faster. I wanted to reach for her,touchher. “Rain check.”

After an awkward goodbye, I found myself standing in the middle of my living room. My house felt so cold and lonely without her warmth. All I wanted was to call my dad and ask him what the fuck I should do.

But I couldn’t.

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