Page 52 of Play Pretend

I twisted my hands in my lap, the notebook resting on my thighs. The leather-bound book held all my secrets and lies, all the stories I’d told, all my inner secrets and demons. It mocked me—every word, every letter.

Finally, the truck stopped, and I realized I’d spent the last ten minutes staring at the book, my lip between my teeth. Blood pooled in my mouth, and the tangy taste of it grounded me, bringing me back to reality. My lip slipped free, and I lifted my gaze, but Ronan was already staring at me.

“I thought we could eat here,” he said, gesturing to the diner. I nodded a few times, my throat dry.

“Sounds good.”

“Or we can go somewhere else?—”

“This is perfect,” I said, pressing my lips into a smile. His gaze dropped to the notebook, and I tapped my fingers against it. “It’s everything you need to know.”

His brows lifted slightly, but he didn’t seem surprised. I couldn’t get a clear read on how he was feeling, and that made me shift uncomfortably.

Not knowing how someone felt was dangerous. I learned a long time ago that judging someone’s moods was the best way to keep the peace, to not say the wrong thing and upset them. I knew how my father felt by the weight of his footsteps, or the tick of his jaw. No one else would notice those things—but I did.

I did the same thing with Daniel, always anticipating what kind of mood he’d be in when he got home from work. A goodmood meant laughter and gentle touches, but a bad mood…I trembled.

It wasn’t that I thought Ronan would ever hurt me, but my mind kept screaming at me that something was wrong. That I needed to fix it—whateveritwas—before it spiraled out of control.

“Ready to go in?” he asked, his voice soft. Air filled my lungs as I took a deep breath, turning my attention toward the diner. My fingers wrapped around the edge of the notebook as I nodded. “You can leave that in here.”

I shook my head. “It’ll be easier to go over everything right now,” I said. “It’s a lot of information.”

He was silent for a long moment before he cleared his throat. “Let’s do this then.”

ronan

Maple Street Diner was surprisingly packed. People sat at every table and booth, but we were lucky to find an empty one tucked in the back corner of the restaurant. My back was to the wall so I could see everyone coming in and out, making sure I could protect Willow, but also all the other people in the place.

I scanned the room, my eyes lingering on the bathroom door. Willow had been in there for a while. We walked in, found our table, and she disappeared. I knew she was hiding in there, but I didn’t understand why.

Had I made her uncomfortable with my compliments? Or maybe it was the fact I told her we had to be a couple in public? But she didn’tseemuncomfortable. She could’ve been hiding it, though. I was beginning to learn how much of a talent she had for disguising her feelings with a bright smile.

But her eyes told the truth—she harbored a sadness I couldn’t fully comprehend, and that made me uneasy. Because I knew firsthand when someone was that sad, they’d do anything to stop the pain.

I tapped my fingers against the plastic-covered menu on the table. Maybe I could tell Willow my story, how I almost lost mysister—how Ididlose her for almost a whole minute. But talking about it so close to the anniversary felt heavy. It was already looming over me like an unwanted weight. And, truthfully, I didn’t know if I could open up to her about something so vulnerable.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I stared at the bathroom door. Looking back, I knew the signs and what to look for. I could pay extra attention to Willow and make sure nothing happened. We didn’t need to have a conversation for me to be attentive and protective.

I’d make sure to discreetly check her wrists, just like I did with Trinity. I’d make sure to check in on her when she’s having a quiet day. I’d make sure to always answer my phone when she called?—

Memories clouded my vision, but I blinked them away. Everything I’d done wrong five years ago still haunted me. I’d let my baby sister down, and it left me with this hopeless need to save everyone. To protect them.

Willow was no different. I’d protect her—I’dsaveher, even if it meant saving her from herself.

The door opened, and she walked out. Her eyes were massive as she scanned the busy diner. It was loud, the lights were too bright, and servers were running back and forth. It was overwhelming, and the only thing grounding me, the only thing keeping me from hightailing it the fuck out of there, was her.

Her safety. Her comfort.

Her.

Willow.

I stood, towering over everyone, and her gaze snapped to me. Did her shoulders really fall? Did her face really soften in relief? Or was I making it all up?

She made her way across the room, her eyes never leaving mine, and when she got to the table, I pulled her chair out,gesturing for her to sit. For a moment, that same look from earlier flashed on her face. It was like a mix of shock and discomfort, and I didn’t knowwhy.

I sank into my chair, scanning the room quickly before turning my attention to her. She read the menu, her eyes flitting over each word, each picture, like she was truly taking it all in. I let myself just stare at her for a moment.

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