Page 3 of Play Pretend

“That damn lighthouse.”

My stomach dropped. Emotion burned the back of my nose, and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the tears away.

I couldn’t allow it.

“You don’t have a life there,” he continued. “You don’t have any friends. You don’t have a boyfriend?—”

“Yes, I do,” I blurted.

My eyes flew open as soon as I realized what I’d said. Dread pooled in my stomach, and I wanted to rewind, to snatch the words back.

More silence. Then a harsh exhale, the speaker crackling with static. The weight of that lie crashed down around me, and I collapsed deeper into the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Why did I say that?

“You didn’t mention you were seeing anyone.”

I picked at the dry skin on my lip, cursing myself.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

“It’s still new,” I muttered. “We’ve only been on a few dates.”

Silence.

A throat cleared.

Anotherthumpof the axe against wood.

“What’s his name? Tell me about him.”

My limbs trembled as I tried to steady myself, but my breathing was ragged, and my heart was thundering in my chest. How fast could it beat before it gave out? I felt like I was moments away from finding out.

I pushed up on my knees and turned, bracing my free hand on the back of the couch. I watched Ronan drop another log by his door before he turned to clean up the mess in our front yard. Any other time, I’d march out there and give him hell about all the wood chips littering the ground. But right now, I could barely think.

Could barely breathe.

My lips were numb and frozen, but I forced them to move.

“His name is Ronan,” I nearly whispered, too afraid to speak louder in case could somehow hear me through the glass. “And he’s my neighbor.”

Should I be worried that lying was so easy? That the words fell from my lips like honey? I never thought of myself as a good liar, but apparently, I had a real knack for it.

“Where did you go on your date? How did it go? Come on, give me some details.” His laugh was strained again, and my stomach twisted further.

Iknewthat laugh. It wasn’t good.

“We went to the beach. He took me to the lighthouse, and we walked along the shoreline. It was…really nice.”

“That’s all you’ll tell me?” The tension in his voice was clear, despite his attempt to keep it light. Was he genuinely upset I hadn’t shared this part of my life with him?

But why would I? Every conversation we’d had my entire life had been stilted, and when we did speak, it was always about Vanessa and how perfect she was, or about how amazing his life was now. I didn’t fit in it anymore. No matter how much I triedto work my way through the cracks, slither into his world, it never worked.

So I’d stopped trying.

“There’s not much more to say.” My gaze stayed on Ronan as he finished cleaning up. “He’s nice and funny…”

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