Page 20 of Play Pretend

I wanted to be happy, too.

Maybe I should’ve just said yes to Braydon. It wasn’t like I had any other prospects. That was such a depressing thought.

I gently tugged at my hair tie and shook out my hair. My scalp throbbed as I massaged my fingertips into it, groaning softly. Maybe I would download Pulse again tonight. It was something I’d been thinking about a lot lately, but something about it felt wrong. I didn’t know why—I didn’t have a problem with dating apps or people finding love on them. It just felt like it wasn’tfor me.

Vibrations shot through my front apron pocket, pulling me from my thoughts, and I fished my phone out. Dread pooled in my stomach as I stared at my stepmother’s name on the screen. I didn’t want to answer and see what she had to say.

I’d been dodging calls and texts from both her and my father for the last couple of days. I just didn’t have it in me to put on a fake smile and listen to how great their lives were, how amazing Vanessa was, or how excited they were for Greece. It was exhausting.

I knew I needed to let it all go, towork on myself. But it felt impossible. The expectations that I never seemed to measure up to loomed over every conversation, reminding me I was not the person Dad wanted me to be.

And, for the life of me, I didn’t understand. Iwantedhim to be proud. Iwantedhim to be happy. But it felt like everything I did just pushed that pipe dream further away. It was neverwithin reach, even when I was a child, it was always far in the distance. It was something I had to sprint for, and when I got closer, he pulled it further away.

And I was tired of chasing. I was tired of pretending that I was living my own life, when deep down I knew I was still living it forhim. Just so I could hear those four words:I’m proud of you.

God, I was pathetic. So, so fucking pathetic.

The call went to voicemail, and I let out a long breath. There were a million of them I still needed to listen to, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I knew I needed to get over it and answer one day…but today wasn’t that day.

I wasbehind the counter ringing up the last of the afternoon rush, when the blonde woman on the other side dropped her change in her purse as she smiled at me.

“So, the lighthouse is on the other side of town?” she asked, and I nodded.

“It’s technically not in Cedar Ridge, but it’s close enough that we’ve adopted it as our own.” I gave her the address and watched as she jotted it down on a napkin before sliding it into the pocket of her shorts.

“We’ve never been before,” she said, gesturing toward her husband and their kids behind her.

“Oh, it’s amazing.” I took a deep breath, grinning. “It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I promise you’ll love it. There’s an urban legend about the widow who used to work there. Her husband went out to sea and never returned, so she manned the light for decades, waiting for him. Sometimes, people claim they can see her ghost in the lantern room.”

The woman’s smile faltered, and I knew they wouldn’t visit. It wasn’t a family attraction—it wasn’t an attraction to anyone other than me.

Gracie emerged with the family’s order, handing it over to the father. Excitement filled the kids' faces as the sweet scent of desserts swirled around them. The mother stuffed some bills in the tip jar before they headed out.

I leaned my hip on the counter as Gracie pushed herself onto it, her expression unreadable. “What?” I laughed.

“I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with the lighthouse,” she muttered. It wasn’t said with judgement, but genuine curiosity.

I shrugged, running my hands down my apron. “The legend of the widow is interesting, and the lighthouse itself is beautiful.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, like she was trying to read my mind. “Have you ever thought of studying the legend more in depth? Maybe you could give the widow her identity back? I don’t think anyone has ever learned her true name.”

I scoffed. “I’m not nearly smart enough to figure that out.” I laughed, waving her off. “And who would even care? You said it yourself—no one cares about the lighthouse like I do.”

“But you couldmakethem care,” she offered, and I shrugged again. She braced her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. “And give yourself more credit, Willow. You’resmart.”

My bottom lip slid between my teeth, and a sting of pain shot through me as I peeled off a patch of dry skin. The sting of that was preferable to the sting of emotions behind my eyes.

“Thanks.” I smiled tightly, just wanting to end this conversation, but with the way she was staring at me, I felt like it would last forever. She stripped me bare, exposing every one of my vulnerable layers.

Finally, I forced out a laugh and pulled away. “So, you and Benny?”

Thankfully, she took the bait and changed the subject. Her hands fell to her lap as she rolled her eyes. “We’ve just gone on a couple of dates. It’s nothing serious.”

“It looked serious,” I teased, and she shook her head.

“He’s really nice—too nice, if you know what I mean. But he’s fun to be around, and he makes me feel special.” She smoothed her hands over her hair as she glanced over her shoulder at the door, like she was waiting for him to come through it. “But I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere, you know?”

I frowned as I rested my hand over hers. “I’m sorry,” I murmured, but she waved me off.

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