Page 1 of Play Pretend

willow

One Year Ago

Five years ago, I vowed to leave men in the past. They did nothing but break my heart and leave me wanting more. And because I once believed my worth resided between my legs, being single wasn’t the best option—it was theonlyoption.

Despite knowing this, seeing my hot, grumpy neighbor chop wood in our shared front yard made me want to throw those vows in the garbage and watch them burn.

Ronan’s biceps bulged as he gripped the axe handle in both hands and lifted it above his head. With a swift, practiced motion, he brought the blade down, splitting the log cleanly in two, sending wood chips flying through the fading light.

The muffled thud echoed through the sleepy cul-de-sac as he slammed the axe’s sharp end into the ground, letting the wood tumble to either side of the chopping block. He pulled off his baseball hat, wiped his brow with the back of his hand, and ran his fingers through his short, dark hair. His chest rose and fell with deep, steady breaths, and I found myself unconsciously matching him.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

I followed his gaze to the tree-lined street ahead. The sun slowly dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in watercolor shades of pink and purple. Shadows brightened with a hazy orange hue, and the grass seemed impossibly more vibrant. The soft buzz of crickets wove through the air like a soft, coaxing lullaby.

Thiswas why I left everything behind.Thiswas why I chose Cedar Ridge.

Ronan twisted his cap backward and yanked the axe from the ground, lifting it high once more. My mouth watered as I watched his forearms—thick, corded—and the way his back muscles shifted under the sweat-soaked fabric of his navy T-shirt.

I wanted to peel that shirt from his body and lick him clean. To bathe in his warm scent—pine with a sharp edge of sweat that was somehow never unpleasant, always addictive. I wanted to bask in his presence, to draw his gaze and hold it, preening under his full attention.

I wanted to show him everything he could have…if he’d only look my way.

“Willow?” My father’s voice jolted me back to reality. The dim light of my little apartment felt oppressive as I turned from the window, the steadythump, thump, thumpof Ronan’s axe grounding me. “You there?”

“Yeah, sorry.” I forced out a laugh, curling my feet beneath me on the couch. My hand drifted to my throat, tracing soothing lines as I worked to steady my breathing. “I’m in the middle of cooking dinner.”

It was a lie. Part of me wondered if he knew—or if he even cared. I doubted it. His tired sigh filled the silence, a sound so familiar it tightened the grip of old anxieties around my chest.

Even though he’d supposedlychanged, the years I’d spent attuning myself to his moods had left their mark. I could still gauge his temper by the way he breathed—or the weight of his footsteps.

It was burned into my psyche, forever a part of me I’d never shake.

No matter how many miles separated us or how much time passed, it was always there—lingering at the edges of who I was. I saw it in everyone. I adjusted myself, changed parts of myself, forthembecause ofhim.

“Will you be here for Christmas?” he asked.

I roughly cleared my throat, giving myself a moment to steady my voice.

Thump.

“I said I will be.”

Silence fell between us again, thick and uncomfortable. Why did he keep asking? The holidays weren’t for another eight months. Maybe it was the only question he could think of.

What a sad thought.

How could we share the same blood and have nothing to say to each other? How could two people so closely related feel like strangers? It wasn’t just a simple question—it was lazy. It felt like a placeholder, a way to avoid real effort.

It wasn’t about caring. It was easier for him to stick to surface-level conversations than try to truly know me.

And maybe it was easier for me, too—to keep him at arm’s length. If he’d abandoned me once, he’d do it again. He abandoned me emotionally every time he brought up my stepsister and his new family, every time he dismissed my life. He did it over and over, with no care or remorse.

---