Page 118 of Start Your Engines

“He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”

“Then don’t let your brother’s comments get to you.” I try to quiet her as she raises her voice. The garage is full of pit crew, engineers and the team members who come to races.

I breathe in the scent of my childhood and everything I’ll miss as I scan the faces.

The only person absent is Connor.

His car developed a fault in qualifying yesterday, and he’s starting in twelfth. He doesn’t stand a chance of getting a podium place, and if Tawny does, we need him to be at least fifth for us to come sixth in the Constructors. As he left yesterday, he hung his head, and his face sagged. I tell myself it was because of the race and not me. It’s how I’ll get through these last hours without him.

He didn’t sleep on our video call last night. I didn’t either. I’ve pretended to sleep all week, hoping he might, too. What if he crashes today because I fucked up? I should have been proud of us. I scratch at my tattoo.

“He’s not here yet,” Jacs says, and I glare at her. “And in terms of what I was saying: when it comes to losing the team’s respect because you’re dating your driver, you couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“What do you mean?” I stutter.

“Hey, everyone, I have a question,” she shouts while climbing on one of the boxes.

The team bustles around, although everyone has the same sad face I’m wearing. In this manufactured but authentic self-made family, these are our last hours together, but hope ebbs. Grumbles fill the room.

“Oi, Jacs is speaking to you,” I shout.

Everyone shuts up quickly.

“The boss has spoken,” she says back to me with a wink. “Right. I want you to raise your hand because our boss needs to know something.”

Slowly, they raise their hands. I point at those with their hands down, and they raise them, too.

“Right,” Jacs continues. “If you didn’t know about Connor and Senna’s not-as-secret-as-they-think relationship, please lower your hand.”

I wait for everyone’s hand to go down. I press my knuckles against my mouth. All their hands are still in the air, although everyone avoids eye contact with me.

“Exactly!” Jacs shouts. “Please lower your hand if you’ve lost respect for the boss because of it?”

Macca slides his hand down before pointing at me with a grin. “Only joking, boss. I’m sorry for all the calls last week. I’m glad you had a night off from us because you needed it. I love that you and Connor are together. You’re good for each other. If it had been Antoine, I’d have walked, but Dane the Pain is the only person worthy of you.”

“You’re an arse, Macca, but I love you,” I reply, my eyes watering.

“I love you, too, boss and I love Connor.”

“I heard my name. What’s going on?” Connor says from the open door of the garage. “Why does everyone look like they got the question right at school?”

Silence descends in the garage as everyone looks between me and Connor.

I stare at him. I’ve tried to avoid eye contact all week. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. His big blue eyes resemble an ocean in a storm or at sunset, depending on his mood. His lips are full and never fail to pull me to him, even when he’s back chatting me. He challenged me our entire friendship, and he’s always been there for me. Having him by my side doesn’t lessen me; it makes both of us better.

“You’re thinking a lot, Senna. Use your words,” Jacs whispers.

“I’ll fire you tomorrow,” I cheek, although we both know I won’t be in charge of anything after today.

“Stop being scared and admit you love him in front of us.”

I nearly stamp my foot—because she’s right.

Connor walks through the garage.

Staring at him in front of my team, I’m certain he’s the future I want no matter what happens. Jacs was right. He’s helped me be the boss I am now—all of these people have.

“Fine.” I push Jacs off the box to stand in her place and hover above everyone, including Connor. She huffs as she steps back.

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