Page 83 of Start Your Engines

He beams. “From the week after your seventeenth birthday? I love that idea.”

I sit back in my chair and stare at him. “You remember that’s when I got my fastest lap?”

He drags both of his lips into his mouth. His eyes crease as he winces.

“Connor?”

My pulse rises as he stares at me.

“Promise me you won’t laugh,” he says.

I squint and twist my mouth. “Why would I laugh?”

“Just promise. Pinky promise?” He holds his little finger out. His teeth scratch his lip.

I hook my little finger in his. “Pinky promise.”

With our fingers still joined, he uses his other hand to lift his T-shirt slowly. I hold my breath as he reveals his panty-wetting abs. Tattoos cross his body, but he points to a small one near his armpit. With all our fun, it’s one I hadn’t noticed.

“It’s well hidden, and it’s not been in any of your photo shoots. When did you get it?”

“Have you enjoyed my photoshoots? Do you play with yourself when you stare at them?”

“Connor,” I warn.

“Yes, baby?” he says in a low voice that makes me quiver.

“Can I touch it?”

“Only if you promise to let me watch while you do.”

“I don’t mean my pussy.”

“Shame. Maybe we’ll do that later. Pinky promise?”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop the smile from turning up my lips.

“When did you get this?” I trace the tattoo with my finger. He gasps and tightens his muscles. They ripple, and it’s like they’re all demanding my touch.

“I got it when I was eighteen, a couple of weeks before the crash. It was one of my first. I ask them to cover it up when I’m in shoots.” His voice is still low, but the tease is gone for now. My fingertip swirls around the numbers of my fastest lap time at Silverstone.

“I can’t believe you never showed me.” He hisses as I lick the inking. “Why didn’t you?”

“I wanted to. It took me too long to build up the courage. But I never had it removed or covered up by another tattoo.”

“Why?”

“Because it was always you. From the first time you beat me on the track to the night before your last race when we watched movies together and you fell asleep in my arms. It was always you.”

I kiss him with everything I have. My hand fists his T-shirt as he strokes and grips my hair. We’re panting and kissing, our tongues entwining as the missing years disappear. I can’t get enough of him. I don’t want this to be a hidden fling, but there’s so much at stake.

Connor hasn’t had enough people on his side in his life. His dad left him, and his family are busy. My brother is the only one who has always been there for him, and he shouldn’t lose that. And I don’t want my brother to get hurt, either. I don’t know what is going on with him or why he’s so distant, but until I can work that out and until we understand what Connor and I can beto each other when it’s not just us two in a bubble, then we need to hide it.

A cough has us easing apart. Over his shoulder, Polly covers her eyes with her hand. I’m not sure which of us blushes harder at being caught.

“Sorry to disturb you, but I’m ready for you to come through,” she says.

Connor grabs the sweets and toy Coults and takes my hand.

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