There’s no code word for this. Other teams can hear us. They’re probably laughing at Senna’s mismanagement of her drivers, which makes me want to bare my teeth and scream. Antoine is risking so much for a vendetta.
“His race engineer and Senna are talking to him,” Macca comments. But it doesn’t matter. He’s been enabled by his dad and Senna’s dad for too long.
We’re entering a DRS, Drag Reduction System, zone on a straight, which means he could attempt to overtake. I want to fight Antoine and stop him, but letting him overtake is the safest option. He’ll probably crash as soon as he passes me, anyway.
“I’m going to let him pass. It’s best for the team,” I say. If I’m protecting the team, then I’m protecting Senna. I need to do that for her.
“No.” Senna’s voice fills my ears. “You can’t let him believe this is acceptable. He’ll do it again.”
I want to tell her not to go to Australia. With everything going on, that shouldn’t be my thought.
I grit my teeth. We’re two laps from the end of the race. “Okay. I’ll hold him off.”
“Good.” The tension in her one word has me gripping the steering wheel tighter.
My stomach lurches as I take the next corner. I’m flying at speeds across this track. Everything I hate about racing isshoved in my face. If I could, I’d leave it today. I used to love the adrenaline and the pressure to be the best, but I’m only racing for her now. I want this team to succeed for her.
I need to be around Senna every second. It’s not to protect her; it’s because I still love her. It’s a different love than before. It’s the love of an adult. I’ve fallen hard, but I can’t do anything about it. I’d be complicating her life and her future.
I remember Ralf’s wedding. I should be focusing, but all I can see is Senna in a beautiful floor-length pink dress, her blond hair in some intricate do, with the pink flower tucked behind her ear. Her softness and tears as Ralf married the man he loved. I only wanted her, and nothing else made sense, including racing and screwing around.
We’re on the last lap now, but Antoine continues pressuring me, getting so close I pull to the side.
This is it for him now. It must be as clear to him as it is to me. He was already on his last warning; Jimmy heard her tell him after Silverstone. But this will mean he’s out of the team. I need to survive for the rest of this lap, and then he’ll be gone. I don’t doubt for a second that Senna will fire him. She makes the decisions her dad was always too scared of.
I turn into the second-to-last corner that loops behind the garage, and suddenly, he’s beside me. He’s too close. I’m running out of space. I’m driving too fast to do anything. I hope I can squeeze through. Macca shouts, but it’s nothing compared to the rush of panic flooding my ears.
His car is so close. At this speed, a crash is inevitable. The guy might kill me. There’s a wall to my side and him on the other. I jerk the wheel away, but he still hits me. Suddenly, it’s like I’m in slow motion, and my car is in the air. I’m flying closer to a wall and death. I close my eyes and wait for the inevitable. As I pray for a swift death, my last thought is Senna and never telling her how I felt.
CHAPTER 27
Senna
The camera focuseson Connor’s car, which has smashed into the wall.
There’s no movement.
“Please be okay,” I whisper to the screen, but still, there’s nothing.
The crowd is silent. The pit crew is frozen. Wetness covers my cheeks. I didn’t know I was crying.
“Please, Connor,” I whisper. And suddenly, I’m throwing my headphones down, jumping off my chair and running.
Where he crashed means he’ll be on the other side of the garage. Because of safety measures, I won’t get to him, but maybe I’ll get closer. It won’t help—nothing can—but I need to do something.
What if Connor needs rehabilitation or someone there for him? Connor has others, but he needs me.
I push past engineers and crew as I near the back of the garage. Steam rises from his car, and suddenly, there’s another threat. His car might spark! He could burn in there.
Tears continue to stream down my face; I might lose my best friend again. We’d just reconnected. I fired Antoine as soon as he started driving dangerously. Maybe I should have waiteduntil the end of the race, because that must have spurred on his vendetta. He was possessed.
I reach the fence and relentlessly rub my scar as I hunt for movement.
Please, God, let him be okay.
My body is ice, and I’m sure my heart stops. My eyes are swollen from crying. The steam isn’t helping, either. I rush back and forth against the fence to get a better view.
And then I see him.