Page 46 of Start Your Engines

“No, Connor,” she says firmer. “Those bastards could have seriously hurt me, and you tried to save me. It went horribly wrong, but that wasn’t your fault. I remember you tried speaking to me before the start of the race, but I was too busy smack-talking. Did you try to tell my dad or an official?”

I close my eyes and nod. “Both.”

“Look at me,” she demands, and I do. Tears sit in the corner of her eyes. “You did everything possible and then had to get involved yourself. It was the only thing left for you to do, and it backfired. Instead of listening to you, I believed the same lads who’d taunted me. When they said you’d hurt me to win and be signed, and then you were signed, I thought the worst of you. My trauma was no excuse. I knew you. I should have trusted you.”

A tear trickles down her cheek.

My face drops at the memory of when I attempted to speak to her at her house. “You thought you’d never race again. You were grieving because everything you’d planned for your life was ripped from you. It’s understandable. I should have come to you at the hospital, but I was scared, and your dad told me I wasn’t allowed. I only came to the house that time because Niki told mehe could sneak me in. I had minutes to explain what happened. I still should have apologised instead of blaming others.”

She pulls her hands away from my face and tucks herself into me. Her orange blossom scent teases my nose. “We made mistakes. I hate how I treated you. You were my best friend, my…” I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. “I should have let you speak. I’m sorry, Connor. I’m so sorry.”

I wrap my arm around her and hold her close.

“I’m sorry, too, Coults.” Her body is warm against mine. The concrete floor makes my butt sore, but I won’t move. “I should have tried again, but your dad told me never to go near you again, and I was scared that he’d find a way to stop Niki from being my friend. Dad left, and I couldn’t lose Niki, either.”

“Connor, I told you I hated your guts and that you were dead to me.”

“I remember.” I shake my head. “But it wasn’t just that. From then I vowed to be the best so that my dad saw what he’d lost out on. Trying to be back in your world just made me feel so guilty that, in the end, I chose Niki and being a success over you when, instead, I should have apologised and made things right. I owe you, not just for the accident, but for how I’ve acted since.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I’m sorry that my dad treated you like that. I had no idea. It was no coincidence that Niki signed you as soon as he wasn’t in charge. You were—you are—the best driver, and yet Dad never wanted you on our family team.”

“He told me once that I was an exceptional driver, but it wasn’t enough. I don’t think he liked how a poor kid was so close to his darlings.”

She bangs her fist on the floor. “How ironic that the man who tells me to be more professional is ruled by his prejudices.”

I drop my head to her shoulder. I want to kiss her forehead and tell her it’s all okay, but that won’t help. “Your dad stoppedfunding me after the crash, but thankfully, I was signed to Lapoire. Everything was happening for me, but I lost you.”

“You didn’t lose me. We just took a timeout,” she says with a half-smile.

“So you’re not going to fire me again, even after hearing that story?”

She chuckles, and it makes my heart flush. “I wouldn’t dare—well, not for that reason. I make no promises for any other reason. So that’s everything?”

Everything but that I fell in love with you at eighteen, the driver who planned to knock you off was Antoine, and your brother is desperate for me to protect you.

“Yeah, that’s all of it,” I reply as she stretches her legs and waggles them.

“Pins and needles,” she explains. “I’d best get back. I have a few things to sort out before I go home.”

I resist the temptation to hold her close and stop her from ever walking away from me again. “I should probably get home and rest.”

“Good plan. Catch you later.” She stands and shakes her body out. She stares at me from above, and for a heartbeat, I imagine asking her if I can sit with her while she works or if she wants to get coffee. But I’m not that guy to her and never will be.

“Bye then,” I say with false cheer as her long legs carry her away.

CHAPTER 21

Senna

Connor didn’t doit to hurt me.

I slide my key in the lock of my parent’s house. I need to confront my dad even though Ralf said I shouldn’t. Or maybe I just don’t want to be alone after speaking to Connor.

“Hello,” I call out. My voice echoes around me as my feet hit the marble floor. I should have called. I never pop by unannounced.

An aerial photo of Silverstone takes pride of place on the wall. Next to it is a photo from Dad’s first team win. It’s all smiles and cheering faces, although the darkness under the eyes of my dad and his team reveals the sacrifices to get there.

“Senna? Is that you?” Mum calls, and a warmth fills my heart.

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