Page 35 of Start Your Engines

“What is he doing now?”

“Still screwing his way around the world with the money I send him each month.”

My brow must furrow, because he qualifies his comment. “It’s our deal. If I send him money, he stays away from us. He can do who and what he wants, but none of my family has to hear from him. Don’t tell Layla that part, because she doesn’t need to know. Dad doesn’t get to betray any of us again.”

“I’m sorry.” He shrugs, but I implore him. I don’t know his excuse for the crash, and maybe I never will, but he was my friend once. “Layla told me your dad left after you were promoted to F2, so your mum took her to Scotland. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for any of you. You must have been lonely.”

He shrugs again, and I want to shake him.

“Niki was around. He’s not good with emotions, but he tried. Besides, it’s not like I need anyone.” He closes his eyes, and when he opens them, he smiles like he’s reset himself. “Did you like the pizza?”

I worry my lip. I could press him to share more, but we’re not there yet. We’re only just friends again. Trust takes time, and I’m not sure we’ll ever have enough.

“Yeah, it was the best thing I’ve had in ages. How did you know I hadn’t eaten dinner?” I say, blustering through the words.

“Your secretary told Jacs you work late every night and that he considered leaving dinner for you, but you don’t ask, and he didn’t want to assume. And before you get weird about people talking about you, he was worried about you. No one else heard. I happened to be in the garage.”

I open and close my mouth, grinding my teeth. I hate that people talk about me.

“Why were you in the garage?” I reply.

“I wanted to help improve the car,” he explains with his hands out. “I’m not an engineer, but I want my vehicle to be the best it can be.”

“You always were competitive.” I tip my head.

“Coming from you. Miss Karting Champion and Junior Racing Champion.”

“Until I wasn’t.”

His smile drops, and I kick myself for bringing it up. It will always be an unspoken issue between us and why we can’t be close.

“That wasn’t what you think. It wasn’t my fault. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you what happened like you didn’t believe me when I saw you.”

I shrug. “It doesn’t change anything, Dane. Nothing you say could make what happened that day okay. You never even said sorry.”

He jumps up and begins pacing the room. “I tried, but you wouldn’t listen. Itried.” His voice strains as he stares at the carpet.

I hold my hands up. Instead of sparks of joy, my stomach burns like I’ve eaten ten burritos and downed five pints of beer. Ipress my fist to my mouth. “Fine. Let’s agree not to talk about it, okay? Thank you for coming by, and I’ll see you in Spain.”

“You’re kicking me out of your office?”

“I’m not kicking you out. I have work to do so that I can go home.”

He cocks his eyebrow and folds his arms. “Okay. Please eat the last piece and ensure you go home soon, or you won’t be safe to drive.” He squeezes his eyes closed and shakes his head. “I didn’t mean anything by that. I wasn’t referencing the crash, I?—”

“It’s okay. Go home, and thank you for dinner. I appreciate it.”

“Are we okay?” The sadness in his eyes makes me want him close. I don’t want to hurt him.

I nod. “We’re okay. You’re driving well, and I’m lucky to have you on my staff.”

“Staff,” he repeats, slowly nodding his head.

What does he want from me? Sleepovers and braiding each other’s hair?

I bite the inside of my mouth and walk over to him. I hold out my hand. “Truce.”

“That’s not how we did it.”

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