Page 113 of Start Your Engines

“Or maybe I’m saying them because no one else can because they don’t know.”

My hands shake. His words sting. I always said I needed to do this alone. What if letting Connor in has cost my future and that of my whole team?

Niki’s brow furrows. “Senna, I’m here for you. I want you to be happy, but?—”

I point to the open door. “Just go.” His jaw drops. “I love you. I’ve always been proud of you and put you first, even though you haven’t done the same for me. I watched Dad go to your race in Austria and miss my graduation and didn’t say a thing. You’remy big brother who I would do anything for, but right now, I need to be alone.”

He ambles out the door. He turns as if he has more to say and is rewarded with the door shutting in his face.

I slide to the floor and drop my face to my hands.

My phone buzzes. It’s Connor. But I can’t bring myself to answer. I love him, but I’m the boss and I must protect him and the team.

With one race to go and my career in the balance, I’m not sure I can.

CHAPTER 54

Connor

Senna wasn’tat the hotel reception when we checked out, although she sent me a message earlier in the morning.

Senna: I’ll meet you in Abu Dhabi. I love you, but I need time to work through everything xx

I’ve been a zombie throughout the days of travel and preparation for the final race of the season.

Every morning, she sends a message saying good morning, and she video calls me every evening. She doesn’t say much but leaves the call open as I try to sleep, but I don’t. I watch her sleep and hope everything will be okay at the end of the season. But how can it be?

I’ve tried to talk to her several times, but she doesn’t want the team to know about us, so I’ve only spoken about the race preparation. She’s about to lose her team and everything that matters to her. I can’t push her and demand that she decide our future now. I love her too much to put that pressure on her.

“Are you okay, Con?” Silas asks as I get out of the car. He hands me a cap.

I look at Senna, and for a second, we make eye contact. Her eyes are as red-rimmed as I suspect mine are, although at least her make-up attempts to cover it. Everything inside me feels like it’s breaking. I want to hold her and tell her we can do it together, but she won’t let me help her. I’m nothing without her strength and love.

I put my cap on backwards and give her a half smile. Her shoulders lift in a sigh, and she squeezes her lips in a smile she doesn’t have the energy for. It takes everything I have not to rush over and take her in my arms.

Silas elbows me. “Connor?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m a bit off with the end of the season.”

“Same. These could be our last days together if rumours are to be believed about our future bosses.”

My heart smacks against my chest at a million miles per hour. “What do you know?”

“Connor,” Ralf shouts as he walks into the garage entrance in a Hawaiian shirt covered in neon cats. I’m shocked his husband let him out of the house with this one. He yanks me into a hug so tight that when he lets go, I nearly fall over my stumbling feet.

“It’s nice to see you,” I stutter.

“You’re a crap liar. Come with me. We need a chat.”

He slams a hand against my back and practically catapults me out of the garage.

“Do you like my shirt? I got it at the airport. I’ve decided to stop travelling for a while. I’m going to be a cat daddy.”

“It’s lovely. Myles will hate it.”

“I know,” he replies with a massive grin.

“What are you doing here?”

---