Page 115 of Knot So Broken

Over the past few weeks, I have spent hour upon hour on the phone to each of my fathers. It's crazy to think that I have four of them.

Amos is my biological father. It was instantly obvious when I saw him on video chat for the first time. His hair is as auburn as mine, with a beard to match. He keeps his hair longer on the top and shorter on the sides. What surprised me the most is the thick Scottish accent which is something one of my other fathers, Nolan laughed that ‘they could take the man out of Scotland but they couldn’t take Scotland out of the man’ about. It seemed like an age old joke they played between them as I heard Amos mouth off in the background.

Polar opposite to Amos, Nolan has pitch black hair, his eyes almost as dark with fair skin. It's clear that he is the joker of the pack, making me laugh until my face hurts each time we speak. There is also a softer side to him as he has opened up with me about his childhood. Like me, Nolan was abused by his father. We were able to bond together over it as he began teaching me ways that he has dealt with the nightmares that he suffered with; ones that now also plague me.

Rhys is a quiet and gentle soul. His features are much softer in comparison to my three other fathers. What was once brunette hair is now slowly turning grey. He is the eldest of the pack and laughs that he is always reminded of it.

My last father, Oliver, is the brute of the bunch. He stands a good six and a half feet judging by the array of photos he sent through. Along with his rugged exterior, he also has an Australian accent to top it off. He spends the majority of his time telling me wild stories from the bush and his encounters with drop bears which have terrified me to no end. I have already flat out refused to come over to visit. All he did was laugh and assured me that he would make sure I was stockedup with some drop bear repellent. I’m concerned to know that the fuck that even is.

“Please, Little Omega,” Ledger startles me from my wandering thoughts, as I turn to look at him, the security alarm pings, letting us know that someone is at the gate.

I jump, my heart rate climbing rapidly in my chest.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

My mood quickly changes from pacing to standing completely still, unable to move. I look at Ledger in desperation.

He stands up, his hands going straight to my shoulders as he looks me in the eyes, “It will be okay, baby. They are going to love you. You already know that they love you.”

I nod, knowing that Ledger’s words are true. But what if in person, I'm not what they expect? What if the one memory of my mother is too much for them to handle and they decide that it's too much for them. They have already boasted about how much I look like her.

“It will be okay. We are right here if anything goes wrong,” he assures me, waiting for me to nod before he lets me go.

My heart is still in my throat as I suck in a brave breath. The entire way to the door, I reassure myself over and over again with Ledger's words.

By the time I get to the foyer, I have psyched myself up to take the step into meeting my fathers for the first time.

Sucking in a final breath, I open the door, shocked when I find Amos with his fist raised, about to knock.

His hand drops away as he stares down at me in shock. His green eyes are wide as he remains frozen. We have spoken to each othercountless times over the phone but in person it’s different. For some reason, it seems more real.

“Hey, Papa.”

The fatherly term instantly breaks him, a sob is wrenched from his chest as he rushes towards me, pulling me straight into his chest.

The dam of tears that I was holding back breaks. Emotion streams down my cheeks as I am pulled from Amos into another’s hold. This father smells like sage and eucalyptus. His chest rumbles as I hear him choke around his own tears. Eventually he pulls back and I find my father, Oliver looking down at me.

“My little girl. I can't believe you are actually real. It's one thing to know you over the phone but it's another to see you in person.”

The tears running down his face seem so at odds with his gruff exterior but in a way, it's refreshing to see him showing the emotion and eliminating the facade of men who have to be tough. He only holds onto me for a moment long before he is stepping away, making room for Rhys who rushes towards me. I smile brightly through my tears as he picks me up, just like he would have if I was a child. It feels like a part of the little girl that had to grow up way too quickly heals slightly at the embrace.

“Pa,” I choke into his shoulder.

His arms squeeze tighter around my midsection where they hold me, “My daughter.”

He lets me down after a moment but doesn’t move for my last father to greet me. Instead, he looks at me with such wonder.

“I thought that the Gods had cursed us for so many years. That they just dangled happiness in front of our faces. But even though welost her, we gained the most precious thing that we could have ever imagined.”

Tears stream down my face uncontrollably but he just wipes them away before stepping back.

Rhys stands just behind him, his smile wide as he envelopes me into a tight hug. He laughs which is a shock through the tears. It does break the emotion clogging the air though as I chuckle. He lets me go, stepping back to my other three fathers. His eyebrow is raised as he looks at me in thought.

“I always thought that you were an ugly fucker Amos, but that can’t be true when half of you made the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

We all laugh at his expense. Turning my head, I find Amos frowning at Rhys but there's no heat behind it. He shrugs his shoulders after a moment before turning to me with a grin,

“You don’t have to hide the fact that you have always thought that I was beautiful behind lies, Rhys.”

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