Page 98 of Knot So Broken

Wrapped in Theo’s arms, I feel like everything is okay. That I am able to push aside the trauma of what I thought was me losing them for life.

I know that is not true though. I have no doubt that the trauma will sneak up on me eventually. It always does.

But for right now, I spend the car ride sucking in lungfuls of Theo’s scent until I begin and end with him. I hear him doing the same as me. His body silently shakes under mine as I feel his tears drenching my shirt.

I hold him tighter, giving him the opportunity to break, just like he has done with me so many times.

The minutes drag on as we revel in each other’s embraces, pulling comfort from each other.

Eventually, I feel the car pulling up at the Manor. Theo doesn’t waste a single moment as he slides out of the car, keeping his hold tight on me.

The sound of his feet crunching on the gravel has me clinging tighter to his neck as flashbacks of my kidnapping rattle me.

“Shhh, baby. It's okay. You are safe. You are home,” Theo whispers into my ear, helping to push the memories from me. I knew that it was too good to be true. Trauma will demand attention when it sees fit.

Pulling from me, Theo reaches a hand up to cradle my chin, “What did it, Kennedy? What set you off?”

“The g...gravel,” I murmur, my teeth giving an involuntary rattle.

Letting go of my chin, Theo turns, looking at someone that I assume is in his employ.

“See to it that the driveway is sealed immediately. Anywhere on the property that there is gravel needs the same treatment.”

He doesn’t wait to hear what the response is, instead he quickens his steps to the front door. I watch as Theo enters a completely different pin into a new security system. Walking through the door. He follows a similar procedure as he locks the door.

“New security?”

Turning his head back to me, he looks at me with a seriousness that can’t be denied, “I refuse to play around with your safety ever again, Kennedy. This is your home. I want you to feel safe here with or without us.”

Tears spring to my eyes and I can't stop myself from bringing my lips to Theo’s. The dam holding back the weight of the past week breaks at that moment.

The kidnapping.

Thinking that my Alphas were dead.

Being locked in a cage and not being able to see the sun once.

I didn’t realize until now just how stir-crazy that made me. I was so overcome with grief and stress that nothing else seemed to matter. It was like a part of my brain shut itself off in an attempt to protect me in some way.

With my head nuzzled into Theo’s tee, he carries up the stairs. I feel the moment that he opens the door to my nest. All of their scents invade me at the same moment.

It makes the tears fall down my face even harder. I refuse to let him go when he places me down into the nest. I cling to him like my life depends on it. He doesn't let me go either.

He whispers reassurances and sweet nothings into my ear. It helps to ease the pain inside me but it doesn't erase it.

I still feel empty.

The bonds are still quiet and I long for nothing more than to feel them again.

I feel like I took them for granted. That maybe I didn’t fight for them hard enough. It was one thing for them to dull the bond to the point that I couldn’t feel them anymore but it's another for them to take their marks from my neck.

Like they didn’t matter. Like they were meaningless. Discardable.

It brings a certain type of fury to the forefront. Something that I have never felt before.

I want vengeance. Both for me and my pack.

I want to see those responsible for my new found pain and trauma go through what we have for the past week.

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