Page 91 of Knot So Broken

The only people that I would want to run to are gone.

Privacy is not something given when you are a captive. I learnt that in my first days when my clothes were torn from me and I was forced under the spray of water.

My body was forcefully washed making me gag from the feeling of hands that don’t belong to my Alphas roaming over me.

The Betas washing me didn’t care. Not for my fight and not for my body's anonymity.

Jaiden’s eyes burn as he watches me from his position at the door. Not once has he inappropriately touched me through this entire ordeal.

He has just been a silent watcher.

I allow the water to wash over me as I stand under the spray completely.

I stare at the drain wishing I could plug it. For the room to fill and take what is left of me away.

There’s no point in taking my next breath.

So I don’t.

I let all of the air out of my lungs and refuse to take a breath.

It's only moments before I can feel them scream at me. The pain is immense but not more than the pain of not having my men with me.

“Kennedy?” I hear a voice ask through the noise of the water coming from the shower head.

“Kennedy?! What are you doing?” I hear the voice become panicked.

“Kennedy!” The voice shouts as I am pulled out of the water. I still refuse myself breathe as my surroundings continue to go fuzzy. My lungs riot against my refusal for air but I am beyond the point of no return.

A sharp sting against my cheek has me sucking in air that I refused myself. The right side of my brain forces me to pull in air greedily as I clear my eyes.

Jaiden is staring down at me. His hair is dripping water from where he obviously pulled me out of the shower.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Kennedy? Why the fuck would you hold your breath under the shower like that for? Do you want to die? What did you think was going to happen? Huh?”

Jaiden’s questions pepper me like bullets as I stare up at him. His face is wild as he looks down at me.

“I can’t!” I shout, making the array of questions coming from his lips, silence, “I can’t continue to breathe when I know they never will again.”

My tears roll down my face completely out of my will. Turning, I hide my face in Jaiden’s tee as I let my heart break.

“Why would you do that to yourself?” Jaiden’s voice is a whisper as he rubs my naked back in comfort.

“My life is nil and void if they aren’t here with me. Do you know what it's like to wake and not feel them in your chest? The pain that comes with every breath that I know I don’t deserve.” I turn my head back to look at Jaiden, “Life isn’t worth it without them.”

I watch as his face crumbles as he stares down at me. Something comes over him as he forces me to sit. He keeps his hold on my shoulders as he looks me deep in the eye. It's unsettling, making my already vulnerable position feel even more dire.

“You need to cut this pity party bullshit, Kennedy. I have been watching you for too long to know that this isn’t you.”

His words startle me as I give him a questioning look. The thought of someone, even him watching me, sets me on edge.

“I’m not a Mullen Alpha, Kennedy. I am undercover. An agent from OPA.”

I stare at Jaiden, my face surely comical after his revelation.

“OPA? As in the Omega Protection Agency?” I don’t know why I need confirmation. I already know that is the exact organisation that he is talking about.

He nods, “Yes, Kennedy. You have been on our radar for years now. It has been near impossible for us to try and get to you. Your father did everything he could to keep you from the outside world. When Charles, Ronan and Trent began to show interest in you, I knew that was our chance to jump. I was already undercover in their pack for a separate situation and I knew I couldn’t let you go.”

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