Page 85 of Knot So Broken

My hope is gone.

The love that I had finally found is gone. Dead. No doubt left to rot by the men that stole them from me.

Wretched sobs are pulled from my chest as I succumb to the pain of not having them a part of me any more.

It may have only been days that they had wedged their way into my life but they had become everything to me. They gave me the chance to hope again. To become the person that I deserve to be.

Now that they are gone, all of that has just disappeared.

My father now has me in his clutches again.

I know that I now have no hope of escaping him.

Any delusions I had of happiness are gone.

I am trapped. Back to the broken shell I was before them.

I don’t know how long I sob into my knees for. Time seems to evade me as the weight of my heartbreak continues to tear through my chest in waves.

I cry to the point of making myself sick. Any other time I would be embarrassed for making a mess on myself the way I have but I don’t care.

Not anymore.

Eventually a numb feeling comes over me as I collapse into the bed. My sobs dissipate into silent tears as I stare at the stark-white wall.

I hear the sound of the doorknob turning but I don’t give it attention. I don’t care about whoever walks through the door. The only three people I care to see will never be there so what does it matter?

My father’s face comes into my line of sight. He looks disgustingly triumphant. Like he has just won the ultimate prize: me. That is until he takes stock of me and the state I am in.

Curling his lip he raises his hand and slaps me across the cheek as he screams abuse at me.

I don’t feel it.

The pain doesn’t register.

My body isn’t registering pain anymore. It has already experienced the pinnacle of agony. Nothing will ever be worse than losing my Alphas.

Lying in my own mess as my father hurls insults at me, I wish for nothing but death. For the grim reaper to finally put me out of my misery. To allow me to follow my Alphas into the afterlife. To be with them like I am so desperate for.

Taking my next breath is pointless when I know that they never will again.

Staring at the veins I can see glowing through my pale skin, I curse the blood pumping through them, wishing that it could just flow onto the ground beneath me instead.

Jostling of my body brings my attention towards two Beta women that are currently pulling me up from the bed. I can’t muster up any strength to help them take me wherever they have been ordered to.

Struggling, they drag me towards the adjoining ensuite bathroom where freezing cold water is doused over my naked body.

I feel as though I am taking a backseat ride in my life. I feel detached from reality. Like there is a smoke screen between me and my new existence.

I feel the Betas clean me with the scent of soap that I know would make my stomach curl if I was at the forefront of my mind. It was just another one of my father’s torture methods. He never cared that certain scents were like acid to Omegas. Any small comfort was ripped from me with great pleasure, like he is trying to do now.

It's futile though. He has already broken me.

I don’t realize I have been pulled out of the shower until I am collapsing into a seat at a vanity.

The women pull at my hair without a single care to comfort. I feel them pluck, pinch and pull until they seem satisfied.

That is until they pull out a black case. Makeup is slapped onto my face. I’m no stranger to the feminine routine but I know this is turning me into someone that I’m not. Someone that I don’t even closely resemble.

---