Page 21 of Knot So Broken

“I’m sorry, Kennedy.”

My head snaps up to look into the eyes of my Alpha.

Jax, I’m guessing as I remember the name Ledger demanded for.

There’s a broken look in his eyes that I feel mirrored inside of me. It occurs to me then that he can feel everything that I am feeling and vice versa.

“I’m so sorry that I claimed you without your consent. I fucked up. I’m sorry.” Jax’s eyes water as he looks down at me. It feels as though a part of his very soul breaks. I feel his deep regret through the bond as he closes his eyes and hangs his head in shame.

I instantly start shaking my head. “No, Jax. Don’t you dare apologise to me.” He opens his eyes before frowning down at me. He cocks his head, giving me a questioning look.

“Don’t ever apologise for claiming me. I’m not happy with the fact that you couldn’t even have a conversation with me before laying claim, but I understand.” I can’t help myself from reaching up and cupping his cheek with my hand. While I still feel terror running rampant in my chest at what the mark on my neck means, my words are true. Feeling what I do now, I can’t help but want this Alpha with everything I am. My blood sings for him.

It makes a part of me insane watching my Alpha break. The primal part of me is already so attuned with who I am destined to be for him. I want to make sure he is okay. I want to stop his pain.

“I don’t understand,” he says quietly.

“I’m not running from you, Jax.”

“Who then? Tell me who makes you feel like this and I will fix it.”

“I…” I begin but cringe. I look around the hallway. It's currently completely empty but I don’t trust it. Nowhere my father can access is safe.

“Is there somewhere else that we can go to talk privately?”

Theo steps up to where I am still in Jax’s arms. “We can go back to our place?” I nod

even though my emotions are unstable. I don’t know what to trust right now. But the one thing I can trust is the feeling in my chest that these men are safe. At least for now.

We don’t bother going back to class. Instead, we end up loading up into a blacked out SUV; coincidently the same one that almost ran me over yesterday. Theo at least had the decency to look sheepish and apologise when I told him exactly that.

I don’t know what has gotten into me.

Deep within my soul, it's true. I’m not angry with Jax for laying claim to me. The Alpha inside of him took over. When faced with our scent matches, all rational thought goes out the window. I know that. It was a part of Mrs. Reed’s lesson yesterday. Would I have liked to have actually been courted first? Absolutely.

But, here we are.

I can’t regret having a mate. One that was so desperate to claim me he was unable to control himself.

Some might say it's a reg flag, a major one at that, but I am actually into it. From what I can tell through, it's not that he wanted to claim me just to control me. That he doesn’t just want me for what I can give him. That I can help him to regulate his control. To be a better Alpha.

The feeling in my chest tells me another story. A story of a man that has walked a troubled path.

A path that has seen hurt that feels like the scale of my own.

A man that just wants to give love that he hasn’t been afforded.

That is the kind of Alpha that I want.

If that's who Jax is at his core, nothing else matters to me. Not even my father’s reaction. Even though on the surface level, I am fucking terrified.

It's not long before we are pulling up at one of the gated communities in our city. The drive to the house is quiet and slightly awkward. None of us know where to look or what to say. Beside me, Jax leans against the car door, looking like a wounded puppy. I feel his eyes on me every so often; an array of emotions letting me know he is just as conflicted as I am. He keeps a hold of my hand though, refusing to let go.

It's ironic that we are pulling up at this exact estate.

My father has been desperate to get into the community that is Eastwood Heights for years. His current standing just isn’t good enough for him.

Calvin Hayes wants to be the most powerful man in Vedena. In order to do that, becoming a resident of Eastwood Heights is where he needs to be. Just like all of the other residents here, being a resident means power.

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