Page 8 of Greased

We go silent again.

I try to think of something to say but I come up short.

What do I say to him? How’s the weather?

“Did you want to sit down and talk?” Rhodes says, finally breaking the silence. I breathe a sigh of relief, nodding my head.

We walk over to the couches. I take one and he takes the other.

I twist my hands in my lap, anxiety slowly seeping into my system. I try to prepare myself for whatever Rhodes is about to tell me, not knowing the full extent of whatever this will be.

“There is a lot that both Dad and um.. Mum are better off explaining to you because they know the details better than I do. There’s a lot of backstory.” I nod, encouraging him to continue.

He takes a breath, “Long story short is, I was told that you and Mom had died. I never felt grief like that before in my life. I went insane. We did everything together, glued at the hip. A couple of other guys were part of our little group and while they loved you and you loved them back, I just wasn’t as close with them as you were. You were my best friend, Scar. Knowing Mum had died hurt so bad, but losing you destroyed a part of my soul. After I came out of the haze, I vowed to myself that I would never let anyone feel the pain I did. I turned myself into a soldier. A weapon.”

Rhodes pauses and shakes his head. He looks up at me slowly. A few tears escape his eyes and my heart clenches at the sight.

“Not a single day has gone by where I have not missed you. I’ve done a lot of stupid shit. My early teens were brutal. Me and one of our friends at the time couldn’t handle it. Losing you was just too much. Drugs became our coping mechanism.

“While he was closer to losing his battles than I was, I just wanted to destroy shit. It took a long time for Dad to snap me out of it. So, when he came to me and told me that you were alive, all of that hurt that I had learnt to deal with all these years ago just came rushing back in full force. I completely smashed up my room and the majority of the house. I went on a three-day bender. I was a mess,” He says with a grimace.

“To be honest, I still kind of am. It feels weird to see you sitting here in front of me only ten years older. It's like no time has passed yet a million years have.

“I will never let anything bad happen to you ever again, Scar. I may be the younger twin, but I refuse to let you go now that I have you back. The last ten years have been torture,” He utters, almost like he is pleading his case with me.

In a way I can understand the way he is feeling. I went through my own kind of hell. I try to sympathise with him. To see it from his point of view. He remembers me. I’m not a stranger to him. Yet, he still is to me.

I shuffle towards him, grabbing his hands in my own. He looks down at them, like they are a lifeline.

“I know we are in this weird kind of middle phase, neither of us really knowing how to be or how to act. But one thing I know is, if you really are my brother, know that I’m not going anywhere. It's going to be a long journey. But I’m here,” I say, trying my best to reassure him.

He nods his head as a sob escapes his chest. My hands tighten in his own automatically.

It's so easy to be blinded by your own grief at times. But seeing Rhodes be so vulnerable and pour his heart out to me, does something to me.

He can remember me. He lost his sister and his mum too.

He thought he lost me. That thought is staggering.

For years he has had to live with that fact. Waking up each and every day knowing the other half of him was gone. Because that's what we are. Two halves of a whole being.

While I knew I had lost him, it was different for me. While I felt as though a part of me had been severed from my being, I still had no memory. All I had to go off with was information from mum.

Yet, he remembers it all.

A part of my heart aches for him. It aches for the time we have lost. The utter betrayal that we have both faced in our parents' decisions. The fact that they allowed both of us to be devastated and expected to just keep on living. Until what? They just decided it was time to be a family again?

Yeah, fuck that.

Rhodes' breathing eventually calms enough that I’m able to pull my hands from his grip. He wipes the tears from his face and I watch as he collects himself before looking up at me.

“I want to know everything about what I have missed, Scar. How you were after you woke up. What your interests are now. If you still sing.”

“I still sing.” I smile up at him. The one I get in return is devastating.

“You do?” He asks.

“Yeah.” I nod, “It's the one thing that Mum says refused to leave me even after the accident.”

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