Page 47 of Greased

Like the way Dawson fights a smile everytime one of the guys does something ridiculous. Or the way Nicky occasionally rubs at the scar on his face, like he’s tracing it. Remembering why and how he got it. Or how Sonny looks at each of the guys for approval after making ajoke. Needing validation he shouldn’t need to seek because no matter how fucking mad I am at him right now, god I love him desperately.

Then there is how Pike is constantly running his fingers through his hair. Even more when he is nervous. And Dacre, who gets a far away look in his eyes every time he flicks open and close his switchblade, a habit that should have been a massive red flag for me but it's not.

“Fuck off Dawson.” There’s no hesitation where there would have been before. He wants to hate me? He wants me to leave? Fine, I will make his life just as hard in return.

I watch as his eyes heat in anger. He should be intimidating right now but my care factor well and truly flew out the window the moment I laid out my soul for the entire class to hear.

I don’t bother to wait for a reply as I storm off, collecting his shoulder as I pass. Before I get too far, I’m yanked back into a hard body.

“Watch it, you are skating on thin ice, Scarlett.” His voice is a low growl directly in my ear. Where this sound would have sent shivers through my body a few months ago, all it does is fuel my anger. I snatch my arm from his tight grip, which I’m sure by the throbbing pain I feel would have left finger shape marks, if not bruises.

“No you listen here you pig-headed motherfucker. You aren’t in charge. You don’t get a fucking say or an opinion in anything when it comes to me. I am in charge. I am the next fucking President and if you don’t cut your male postering bullshit and pull your head from where it is so far shoved up your asshole, I,” I snarl, pointing my finger to the centre of my chest, “will fucking make you regret ever stepping foot onto that beach that night.”

His eyes are wide but he quickly shoves his surprise down, that signature resting cunt face where it belongs. He scoffs, “I’d like to see you try.”

A sinister smile spreads across my cheeks, “Watch me.”

I turn my back on Dawson, keeping my head high as I walk over to Brandy, Maxie, Jen and Rippy who are all looking at me with proud looks on their faces. It's strange to see that kind of expression on Rippy’s face, especially when it's directed at me but I’m in no state to dive into that one right now.

Brandy meets me halfway, throwing one of her arms over my shoulders, giving a little squeal in the process. “Fuck yes, Scar! That was badass! If you weren't a Pink before, you sure are now!”

I can’t help but laugh. Her utter acceptance of me from the beginning warming a place inside of me. No one could ever replace Grace or Noah, but Brandy is going to worm her way into a spot on that top shelf very quickly.

We walk over to the group of students all standing near the volleyball net, waiting for Mr Green’s instruction. I prepare for a lashing, his warning earlier still at the forefront of my mind. I brace as his eyes catch mine. Where I thought I would see disapproval or the promise of some bullshit punishment, I see pride. He nods his head at me, a gesture I quickly return.

I don’t have to turn my back to feel Nicky, Dacre, Sonny, Pike and Dawson’s presence but even if I was unsure, the look Mr Green gives them is utterly terrifying.

“Boys, seeing how you enjoy laying out your personal lives and wasting my time, detention this afternoon.”

It takes everything in me not to let out the laugh that threatens to escape me. But I swallow it down.

Suck shit, fuckers.

We fucked up. I fucked up. I destroyed the single most important thing in my life and I didn’t even know it. I broke her just like she said, beyond repair. I shattered her fucking heart like it never mattered in the first place. The shame I feel in myself is immeasurable.

I’m mad at the boys. I’m mad at our situation. Our parents. At Scarlett for making me fall so incredibly in love with her. For her leaving me in the first place. Then even more mad that I was the one to leave her once I finally had her back in my hold, even if I didn't know it.

The shock of our little Scarlett and Australian Scarlett being the same person still hasn’t sunk in, even though she is standing right in front of me. Seeing her on that stage last night was the most indescribable feeling. She looked beautiful up there.

A true goddess.

Sonny had the right idea, bowing at her altar; a sentiment I vow to do everyday for the rest of my life. I’m not ashamed to puther up on a pedestal like that. She deserves nothing but that. My undying loyalty to her.

My gaze doesn’t stray far from her as Mr Green organises teams and runs through the rules of the game. I don’t even pretend to listen to anything he has to say. My focus stays purely on my girl even after she gave me the most brutal lashing I have ever received. I deserved it. If anything, I don’t think she was tough enough on us.

I watch her as I run through ways I can make it up to her. Now that I think about it all, our reasonings for ghosting her weren’t even worth it. We were just scared. Scared that we had fallen in love. Scared to lose someone that we cared deeply about. All of it was for nothing anyways. We could have had her back in our lives sooner if we had just pulled our heads out of our asses and didn’t act out in fear.

Her place is here, even if that thought terrifies me. Anxiety courses through my veins. The scenarios of what can happen to her, of the things she will see. Will it trigger her memory?

As far as any of us know, she doesn’t have a lick of memory from her life before the accident. In a way, it's a relief. In another, it fills me with nothing but devastation. She doesn’t remember who we are to her. What she is to us. All she has to go off is our short time in Australia and our major fuck up.

I know that I won’t back down in this fight to get her back. To rewin her heart. To make her fall in love with me again.

I want her. I crave her.

I’ve never felt this kind of obsession for a person before. Even though Scarlett believes we completely ghosted her, it didn’t keep me from following her on every social platform I could.

Yeah, ‘Harry Tomlinson’ was probably not the most inconspicuous name out there but alas I was able to keep a close eye on her. I could see the pain we caused on her face from the first selfie she posted almost a month after we left. It killed me waiting around for some kind of indication on what she was doing. Her friends' social media accounts were also incredibly bare too. I had to refrain daily from getting the first plane back to Australia just to make sure she was okay.

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