Page 79 of Swept Up In You

Glared.

Glared was the more appropriate term here. She didn’t look happy, and she didn’t blame her.

“What?” Taylor said as nonchalantly as she could muster.

“Don’t‘what’me,” Jess replied, crossing her arms. She gestured towards the front door. “Nauti Sam comes here to pretty much declare her love for you, and you still didn’t say anything.”

“So youwerelistening?” She was being petulant, and she knew it.

“That’syour takeaway from this?”

“You were the one who told me to be careful about getting into another relationship.”

“Well that was before I saw how much you liked each other. Why won’t you talk to her?”

“Ugh.” She threw herself back on the bed as Jess came over and sat next to her. Face hidden under her arm, Taylor mumbled, “I can’t see how it could work, how do you do long distance when she’ll be living on a boat in the middle of theocean? Isn’t it easier to cut ties here before I fall in lo—likeher any more than I already do?”

Jess eased down onto her elbows, Belle jumping up in between them. . She looked at Taylor. “How do you know if you don’t try? Just give it a chance.”

“It hurt so much with Liz, Jess.” She let her head drop to the side, looking at Jess’ face filled with concern.

“I know it did, Taylor. But doing this to yourself? Lying here in silence and not trying with Sam? That’s letting Liz win. That’s letting her still control your life, and you’re better than that.” She reached over, messing up Taylor’s hair and kissing her forehead, then gave Belle a quick pat before leaving them both alone.

Taylor let out a big sigh, letting the past few weeks replay in her mind—like she hadn’t already been doing since she drove away from Sam. She curled onto her side, wrapping herself around Belle and letting her tears fall. Why was she such a coward? She squeezed her eyes shut.

Jess’ words came back to her. She didn’t want Liz to control her life anymore. She thought of her standing with Sam at the food festival, how proud she’d felt with her by her side,powerful, like she could do anything as they talked to Liz. She rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

What did she want? To lie here crying and feeling sorry for herself atthe mere potentialof getting hurt? Or to actually give things a go? To try and find a way to make things work together without fabricating an ending that didn’t exist.

I am not Liz, Taylor.

She shut her eyes. Maybe she had fucked up.

Friday night came around too quickly, but it was now or never. She’d planned what she wanted to say, and picked up a bunch of blue hyacinths (they reminded her of Sam’s eyes) to show her apologies beyond words. She just hoped she wasn’t too late.

She stepped out of the car, already knowing Sam wasn’t home. No lights were on, the curtains drawn. She knocked anyway.

Silence.

Shit.

Then she thought of Manny and raced back to her car, careful not to crush the flowers in her haste, and headed for the marina. It wasn’t until she was down the path and at the gates that she realised she didn’t have a fob to get in. She clenched her fists.How could she forget?She spied someone walking down one of the pontoons, whistling away with their trolley.

“Excuse me!” she called out, “Any chance you could let me in, please?”

The guy looked around, spotting her and giving a quick wave, abandoning his trolley and walking up to meet her.

“I’m so sorry. I’m meant to be meeting my friend Sam, but I can’t reach her.” It was only half a lie. She held up the flowers as if to prove she wasn’t some dodgy random.

“Oh, for Sam, of course,” he replied with a grin as he beeped her in.

“Thank you,” she said, trying not to rush past him too quickly.

As she came to the end of the dock, her heart sank. She eyed the empty spot where Manny usually sat.

Fuck.

The flowers hung limp in her hand as she trudged back to her car, hitting the exit button on the gate a littletoohard on her way out of the marina. Defeated, she made her way back home along the coast. She glanced outside, did a double take, then pulledover to get a better look. Sure enough, there was a boat with a light on, sitting off the shore in the same spot Taylor and Sam had been only weeks ago. It had to be her.

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