Page 16 of Swept Up In You

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Course.”

She focused on the bit of yoghurt left on his cheek before he wiped his face with a napkin and continued, “That why you brought your old man pancakes this morning?”

“No,” she said, her chin starting to jut out, “they’re because I love you.”

“All right, I love you too,” he said, playing along. “Now spill.”

“Well…” She took another bite of pancake, delaying the inevitable a little longer.

She swallowed.

“I don’t think I want to take over the shop anymore,” she rushed out, her heart pounding in her chest. She held her breath, waiting for the reaction. She’d finally told him. Half of her wanted to grab at the words as they left her mouth, to not rock the boat and keep the peace. But there was no going back, no more second arrows; here came reality.

Her dad stopped chewing mid-bite. “You don’t?”

He turned towards her, putting down his knife and fork. “How long have you been thinking that?”

“Um, a while?” It came out as a question.

“A while?! Why didn’t you say anything?”

His eyes were wide, surprise written all over his face. It made her feel even guiltier. She was hoping he’d at least had an inkling, seeing through the facade of her cheery answers or avoidance of the topic altogether, but… maybe not.

“We’ve been talking about this for months—years, even. I’m literally planning my retirement with the accountant,” he said, exasperated.

“I know, trust me, I know.” She twisted her hands in her lap, willing out the right words to explain more, giving her dad the clarity he needed.

“I felt like every time I went to say something, it wasn’t right, and I was also second guessing the decision but it just wouldn’t go away. All I know is I want to do everything to still make this work somehow.” She tried to catch her dad’s eyes, but now he was just staring at his plate.

“I’m just confused, Sammy. I’m—” He ran his hand over his face and through his hair, making him look more dishevelled than usual. He blew out a breath and stood up. She watched him silently, wanting him to say more but not knowing what else to say herself in the silence. He took his plate up to the galley, dropping it louder than she expected. She jumped, then scooted out from around the lounge.

“Sorry,” he said, both hands leaning on the back of the kitchen bench, staring at the floor. “I’m just shocked. I half expected you were buttering me up for a little time off to take Manny on a trip.”

“Well, I mean I do want to do that too, b-but…” She looked at the table, her half-eaten pancakes looking sad as one particular dollop of yoghurt began to slide off the top in defeat. “I think I want to go on a big trip, more long term than just hopping over to the other side of the gulf,” she mumbled.

“Oh.”

There was so much disappointment in that one word. “You want toleave—leave, like for good?”

“Not for good,” she rushed, walking up to him in the kitchen. She put a hand on his arm, hoping he’d look her in the eye and see more than what she was saying. “But I really don’t knowhow long yet. Hell, I don’t even have any of the details finalised, which is why I hadn’t said anything. It’s just this feeling I get, like I need to get out and explore the world.”

Her dad huffed out a soft laugh, his eyes starting to shine as he looked back up. “You sound just like your mum right now.” A sad smile played on his lips. “She dreamed of circumnavigating Australia and beyond, then she got sick, and we never did it,” he shrugged.

“Wow, I never knew that. My ideawasto go around the country. But now, hearing that, knowing it’s what she wanted at some point too… Maybe that’s why it felt so right, in here.” She placed a hand over her heart. “In the meantime though, I don’t want to leave you high and dry, Dad. I mean it. We’ll sort something out together for the shop.”

“I’m sure we will,” he replied, a tightness around his face showing through his thinly veiled smile.

Not knowing what else to say or do, she made a move to go. “I should leave you to finish your breakfast. I better get back and start getting ready for work anyway.”

“Sammy. At least finish your pancakes and coffee.”

She sighed and moved back to the lounge, eating quickly while she gulped down as much coffee as she could without burning her throat. Her dad stayed standing in the kitchen, the awkward silence growing between them. She quickly packed everything away and took the plates up to the sink.

“See you at the shop.”

He grunted, busying himself with the dishes as she dashed up and out of the cabin, thankful to get away from the boat and back out into the fresh air.

---