Page 2 of Believe in Caloosa Springs

I quickly looked away and slumped in the seat. Being eye-level with the mirror was doing nothing for my nerves.

I tried to open Maps to see how far away we were, but when I tried to input Mandy’s address, all I got was a spinning wheel of doom, followed by acheck network connectionpop-up.

Of course I had no service. I was in the middle ofactualnowhere. Maybe that's why Mandy seemed to not be responding.

I locked my phone and nervously picked at the chipped black polish on my nails. Oh god, did they sell nail polish in Caloosa Springs, or was the place frozen in time before varnish had been invented? Horror gripped my guts.

With every rotation of the tires, the feeling of impending doom ballooned. “What are you doing, Tian,” I muttered under my breath. After the last six months, I was ready for something different—but I was beginning to believe I’d run in the wrong direction.

I’d always wanted to go to New York. I could have hopped right on a plane from Harry Reid International and headed straight to JFK. I could be eating a hot dog from a street cart in the middle of Times Square right this very minute. But I didn’t do that.

Or Portland! I heard Portland was right up my alley— a massive art scene and alternative community rich in queer culture and acceptance. Nope. Didn’t go there.

I must have read twenty books about voodoo in New Orleans. Vampires and witches! Occult shops and cemeteries older than the country itself! Enjoying a sugary beignet while sauntering down Bourbon Street? Sign me up… or not.

For that matter, who’s to say I even had to stay in the country? I’d dreamt of seeing London since I watchedInterview With a Vampirefor the first time. Why hadn’t I gone overseas?

The world was my oyster. So, naturally, I chose… Caloosa Springs.

I glanced up as the scenery began to change, and the rolling desert gave way to massive green pastures surrounded by tall fencing. A large sign mounted on the fence readBaker Farms. I recognized the name as the people who Mandy worked for.

My favorite cousin—a title she self-proclaimed when we were kids—worked at a bookstore-turned-cannabis dispensary. She’d been begging me to come out here and stay with her for a long time, having offered me a job countless times over the last couple years, but I hadn’t taken the bait. Eighteen-year-old Tian wouldn’t have been caught dead living in a small town. I was a city boy through and through, despite having been trapped in a(nother) small town until the day I’d turned 18. My parents, to their credit, weren’tcompletelyawful. We just existed in two completely different worlds. They were religious, archaic, and staunch conservatives. Good people, just severely stuck in their ways. I tried to give them credit, as it wasn’t their fault their youngest offspring turned out to be their polar opposite.

My mother cried for four days straight when my 11th grade history teacher called to inform her that I’d been caught kissing another boy in the back of the library stacks during lunch. Unfortunately for them, by that point, they were kind of out of options. I’d already been cordially uninvited from the pew of our family church by the pastor the year prior, on account of “[asking] too many questions, and [needing] to strengthen my faith in the Lord.” My dad’s face had turned purple, and I believe with every ounce of my existence that was the closest the man had ever come to putting his hands on me.

Then, when I’d started kissing boys, my folks had no choice but to have my mother quit her job so she could be available to homeschool me through the remainder of my high school education. What a joythatwas… not.

Fortunately for me, I was already two years into the four-year plan I’d made on my 14th birthday. Instead of getting me the Xbox I’d asked for, my parents instead gave me a $4,000 certificate of deposit. It was “for my future,” they’d said. Aspissed off as I was, I still was determined to figure out how to use it to my advantage.

I read every word of the paperwork associated with the CD, and taught myself exactly how they worked. They had selected a 12-month term at a 4.2% return. Knowing what I know now, they got a hell of a rate. Er, I guessIgot a hell of a rate.

Then, on my 15th birthday, they cashed it out, added in another thousand dollars, and put it back in for another year. They continued to do that until my eighteenth birthday, when I was able to cash it all out at once. Knowing what I know now, there would have been better investment options that would have yielded a larger return, but whatever. Doing what they did gave me a little under ten grand to start my adult life with. I had also been working part-time at the movie theater for two and a half years, and made a point to save as much as I could. I’m not entirely sure where their logic had come from. I wasn’t allowed to go back to regular school because they didn’t want me kissing other boys, but they allowed me to work in a dark movie theater 15 hours a week.Laughable.

By the time the clock hit midnight on my 18th birthday, I was one trip to the bank away from getting the fuck out. Las Vegas was close by and seemed like everything I needed in my life: bright, loud, and anonymous. With my ass on fire and all my worldly savings, I caught a Greyhound out of town and didn’t look back.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window, grinning like an idiot at that stupid boy, just running to run. My two-and-a-half years in Vegas had been a hell of a ride, but it was time to get out. I had no idea where I was going to end up next, and I’d be lying if that wasn’t extremely exciting. Caloosa, tiny as it might be, was going to be a great reset point. Those creeps fromthe BoysTown cam house wouldn’t be able to find me, and I had a free place to crash while I figured out what the next chapter in my story was going to look like. Cherry on top was I got to spend some time with Mandy while I figured it out. She and I had always been the black sheep of our shared family, and, consequently, she got me like nobody else ever had.

My phone began to ding in my lap and I picked it up to see cell service had finally returned now that we were in town.

MANDY:just have him drop you off at booked, i still have a few things I need to finish up and then we can grab some lunch

Great, that meant I was going to have to verbally interact with John Wayne Gacy in the driver’s seat.

“Um… so, there’s a slight change in plan. Could you drop me off at Booked instead of the address I provided? If I remember correctly, it’s just up ahead, before the curve on the right.”

It had been a while since I’d visited, and thingsdidlook different, but there wasn’t much here to forget. Three dirt roads connected the town to the main vein of blacktop running through it. I think there were a total of 12 commercial buildings in town; the rest were residents’ homes.

I watched the man’s reflection as he turned his head and looked at the screen mounted to the dash.

“Address reads 4580 Calico Lane. That’s where you’ll be dropped off. 4580 Calico Lane,” he repeated in a monotone.

“O-kay-y-y…” I replied as smoothly as I could, sinking back down into my seat.

ME:I’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!!!

***

I waited on Mandy’s front porch steps for about ten minutes until her Jeep pulled into the driveway. Through the windshield, her hands waved in excitement at the sight of me. She hopped out, the engine still running, and ran over to throw her arms around my neck. It was a reach for her to do it. I wasn’t very tall, but Mandy was a shorty by anyone’s standards. Little and curvy, with light blue eyes rimmed in smudgy, dark liner—she was a thicker, more feminine version of me, which is probably by people often mistook us for siblings instead of cousins.

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