Page 42 of Peep

After several blissful moments, he slips out of me and shuffles to the side. Delicate fingers continue to trace my spine as I rest on my arms.

“That was amazing,” I croak through my now dry throat.

Anders twists one of my ringlets around his finger before pinging it. He holds me captive with a meaningful stare.

“No, Jay, it was much more. It was heaven.”

Chapter 19

Anders

Ithink I might have a boyfriend. Because guys that you’re just fucking don’t help you pick out flowers and come to the hospital with you to visit your friend’s little sister.

Boyfriend.It’s such a simple word, yet the thought of letting it roll off my tongue in relation to Jahmar makes my stomach flip and my cheeks tingle. I’m equal parts ecstatic and terrified by the concept of being his andonlyhis.

We’ve not had ‘the talk’, but I’ve woken up entwined in his muscular arms over the past few days, so I’d say we’re going steady.

Considering how much he used to irk me, being in his presence is almost calming now. I can’t even pretend to be annoyed at him anymore because he’ll say some dumb or sweet shit that has me grinning from ear to ear. It’s actually very disgusting.

“Why are we in this wing? You said Sage’s little sister was in recovery. Shouldn’t she be in the children’s ward?”

Jahmar pauses at the double doors, pulling his hand away from mine and coming to a standstill. Cool air rushes around my now empty hand, making me feel uneasy.

I force myself to brush off the subtle rejection. “Oh, no. Delia recently turned nineteen. We call her little, but she’s actually an adult.” I huff a laugh. “She’s been in and out of hospital for most of her life dealing with cystic fibrosis, so she didn’t really have a normal childhood. I guess we’ve always kind of babied her.”

Jahmar pushes the bouquet of flowers at my chest; I scramble to catch them. He shoves his hands deep into his jeans pockets.

“I erm, I need coffee. Isn’t there a Starbucks around the corner? I’ll get us some.”

“What?” I ask, fumbling with the flowers and frog plushie I brought for Sage’s sister.

So much for my boyfriend-who’s-not-actually-my-boyfriend being all cute and coming with me. The centre of my chest aches, and my cheeks droop in disappointment.

“We can get coffee after. It won’t take long. Please come.” My pleading tone makes me internally cringe.

I’ve not seen my friends since they came for a swim, and I want to show off my new man. Fucking pathetic really.

Jahmar stares at a long scuff on the floor, dragging the front of his trainer along the embedded line.

“Jay,” I snap.

His eyes ping up, and he bites his lip like he’s trying to stop a confession from tumbling out.

“What?” he bites back. “Just go see your friends, alright? I’ll meet you back at the car.”

My insecurities prod at me like a devil with a pitchfork. Stabbing away until they break the skin. Fuck, does he work here sometimes and have a secret hot nurse boyfriend tucked away? My stomach feels like it’s about to fall out my arse, and fury heats my face. This is why I don’t fucking date. My heart’s too feeble. When your own fucking father doesn’t even want you, it almost always results in a hearty dose of abandonment issues.

“Do you locum here?” I demand to know, squeezing the stems of the flowers so hard one snaps.

“No, why are you asking?”

“That’s weird. Why wouldn’t you locum at the hospital in the city you live in? Why bother driving all over the north when you could work here?”

“Jesus, Anders, you sound like my fucking mother. I used to work here, but I didn’t like the management. Now, go and see your friends. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

I’ve never seen Jahmar pissed off, and I don’t like it. Guilt floods me. I’m acting like a fucking psycho, demanding he come visit my friends and asking questions he clearly doesn’t want to answer.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m being an insecure bitch. I was excited for you to meet my best friends, and I got paranoid that you have a secret sexy nurse boyfriend.”

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