Page 59 of Peep

“It’s alright, bud. Let it out,” Cameron coos while rubbing up and down my arm.

“Shit, you really like him, don’t you?” Sage questions, but it’s more like a statement.

“Yes, I do. There’s more to it, though. I don’t know. How can I explain? It’s complicated,” I blubber through snotty tears.

I blow my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie, and Sage pulls a face.

“Did you understand any of that?” Sage whispers to Cameron.

I prod them with my foot, then stand up to pace the room. My best friends patiently sit there wide-eyed as I start rambling about everything that went on, skipping out the whole ‘removing testicles for revenge’ part.

“So, you see, I’ve lost my brother, and now I’ve lost Jay; he won’t even return my calls.”

“Hold on a minute, Anders, you said that too fast. Please tell us again so I know I’m not going crazy. Chris, your brother, the doctor, raped the guy you’re seeing? The same person I let operate on my fucking sister?” Sage asks, face creased with disgust.

“Yes, about three years ago,” I reply, releasing a shaky breath.

“God, Anders. That’s fucked up,” Cameron says, running a hand through his burnt orange hair.

“Shit, I see why you’re a fucking mess now,” Sage adds, blowing out a harsh breath.

“I can’t believe the arsehole tried to lie to me at first.” I clench my fists. “I could’ve killed him.”

Sage crosses their arms over their chest, a deep scowl on their face. “Good, sick fuck, he’d deserve it if you did.”

Cameron chucks a pillow at them. “Sage, come on, he’s still his brother.”

“Fuck that,” Sage growls. “He’s a disgusting excuse for a human and deserves to have his dick and balls chopped off.”

A hysterical laugh bubbles out of me. Cameron and Sage stare at me like I’ve fully lost it. Perhaps I have. This has beenwaytoo much for my weak psyche to process over the past two weeks.

After I stop laughing like a maniac, Cameron speaks, “So, where is Jahmar now? Is he ok? It must’ve been pretty awful finding out Chris is your brother.”

“I don’t know.” I gnaw at my bottom lip, guilt scrambles in my stomach for not finding him already.

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?” Cameron asks, brows drawn into a harsh line.

“He disappeared.” I shrug then sigh.

Cameron sits forward in his seat. “People don’t just disappear.”

“Well, Jahmar does.”

“Do you love him?” Sage suddenly pipes up, glancing at Cameron briefly before darting their eyes away.

I swallow hard, and unshed tears cloud my vision. “I do. Right before everything blew up, I had every intention of telling him.”

“Then find him,” Sage says with more certainty than I’ve ever heard from them.

“I can’t. He clearly wants nothing to do with me.”

“You’re not your brother, Anders. Tell Jahmar how you feel, and let him decide if he can live with that.”

I bite my nails, considering their weighted words.

“Come on, Anders. Quit being a little bitch and fight for your man.” Sage’s pep talk makes a flicker of hope spark in my chest.

Cameron shuffles closer to Sage and wraps his arm around them. “Wow, I didn’t take you for being such a romantic, babe,” he teases.

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