Page 52 of Peep

Anders

Iknow what Jahmar has to do today is inscrutable. Facing the person who must have violated him in the cruelest way possible will challenge him in more ways than I can imagine. His idea of justice may be unethical and somewhat sadistic, yet I feel immensely proud of him for taking back his power.

I want to know who hurt him, but Jahmar’s holding those cards close to his chest, and I refuse to force his hand. In some ways, it’s probably best that I don’t know the harrowing details.Because if I did, I’d want to hunt them down and inflict slow torture.

This isn’t my battle to fight, though. I have to sit back and allow him to find closure, and if it comes from chopping the guys’ balls off, so be it; he has my full support.

It’s wild to me that I ever feared Jahmar. He’s sweet and funny. Affectionate and kind. He’s the fucking sun and moon combined.

That sinister smile he wore so well has transformed into a genuine one, and I’m making it my mission to keep it there. I can already imagine our lives merging seamlessly and becoming one.

I want to reach into his wardrobe and see my shirts hanging alongside his.

I want to pick up his socks and complain like a little bitch about it.

I want him to tease me when I ruin dinner because of the lack of seasoning.

I want to have lazy morning sex where neither of us really tries, but it’s perfect nevertheless.

I want to read his stupid annotations in his smutty vampire books and leave replies.

I want to love him wholly through the mundane and magical moments.

I want it all with him.

I’m rushed with a flood of earth-altering emotions. This is no longer a game of cat and mouse—I’m in love with him.

The overwhelming urge to tell him exactly how I feel makes every cell in my body buzz. Blood pumps faster through my veins than ever, and the need to be in his enchanting presence is all-encompassing.

Chances are he’s with his last patient right now. Maybe I should’ve been there with Jahmar tonight. I asked, but he insisted he’d do it alone. Would he mind me watching? He’snever had an issue with it before. Seeing the sick fuck that hurt my man might settle something in me, too. Knowing who to punch in the gut if I ever see him in public would be comforting.

I’m working alone tonight as Femi’s on holiday for a few days. It’s eerily quiet in reception; the only sound is the howl of the wind as autumn takes over. Crispy leaves float past the windows and dance in the bitter air. It’s peaceful but also mildly unsettling—like a storm is brewing.

Pulling my phone out and opening up Jay’s camera feed, trepidation makes my jaw clench. I have to know who hurt him. I click on his feed before I can change my mind.

My world stops.

A thousand blunt knives gouge at my heart until it’s a mushy pile of bloody muscle.

My brother, my own flesh and blood, lays there unconscious. And the man I’m undoubtedly in love with is about to mutilate him.

The colour drains from my face, and my guts twist into painful knots.

There must be a mistake.

Shoving out of my seat and knocking it over in the process, I dart from reception. Once I reach the lift door, I slam my finger against the button at least ten times, as if it’ll make the doors open sooner. Blood rushes my ears, and my head spins from standing up so quickly. I need to get up there before I pass out.

Chris wouldn’t. He can’t be the one who raped and ruinedJahmar’s life. It’s not possible. Chris is a good fucking person, an amazing brother, and one of my best friends.

Please don’t let this be true.

As soon as the doors open, I barrel into the lift and slam the keypad for Jahmar’s floor. I pace the impossibly small space, panting and swiping tears that freefall down my ashen face. My dinner tumbles around my stomach as I imagine whathappened between Jahmar and my brother. Sickening images flash through my fragile psyche.

The urge to slam my fist against the mirror builds as the floors tick by slower than ever. The doors ping open, and I go to step out, only to realise I’m on the wrong fucking floor.

“Oh, hi, are you ok?” A tenant I can’t remember the name of attempts to step in the lift.

“No, fuck off. Take another lift,” I snap, slamming the keypad again.

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