Page 4 of Peep

I’m in full scrubs, and my face is covered; I doubt he’ll be able to identify me. He must be confused, but that’s even better. I thrive off his fear. The next time he wakes up, he’ll be forever changed.

Honestly, what I’m doing is a public service; the government should be thanking me for taking care of the scum they refuse to handle.

I squeeze the syringe and watch the clear liquid seep into his veins, then count back from ten. As each number passes, his body becomes more lax, and his eyes flicker, fighting against going under. By the time I get to three, he’s already in Lala land.

Hasta la vista, baby.

I groan into my pillow as the high-pitched ringtone drags me from my slumber. Eyes still half closed, I fumble on the bedside table for my phone.

“Hello,” I mumble, rubbing my eyes to clear them of sleep.

“Hey, Jay-Jay. Are you alright? You sound funny.”

Sitting up against the headboard, I roll my neck, releasing some tension. I’m in good shape, but lugging unconscious men around takes its toll on the old lats.

Last night was a late one. My patient was a bleeder and made a real mess. Then I had to wait for Anders and Femi to clock off so I could take the trunk out. I have no doubt he would’ve freaked out if he saw me with that trunk again after my poor humour last night.

It was a nightmare. I can’t keep bringing patients here; I’ll have to scout out a new place to perform procedures before my next job.

“Are you still there, son?”

“Yep, sorry, Mum. Just woke up. I had a late night.”

“My gosh, you need to stop taking on so many hours. I keep telling you that you should finish your surgical training. The hours will be much nicer once you’re fully qualified.”

I’m kind of sick of having this conversation with her. It’s been three years since I ‘lost’ my job and became a locum doctor full-time. It’s better this way. If anyone gets suspicious, I can keep a low profile and move on from hospitals.

That’s not to say it doesn’t make my stomach twist when I go home to see her, and she gushes about how proud she is of me and how one day I’ll be a surgeon.

“Yep, sure, one day. I’m enjoying the locum work for now. It’s flexible and I like picking my own hours.” I almost believe the lie myself with how seamless I sound. Becoming a surgeon was a lifelong dream of mine until it was stolen from me.

“Fine. Well, if you ever change your mind, I can help you reapply.”

Mum and Dad worked together in a hospital for over thirty years. Mum adored her job as a nurse, but when Dad suddenly passed away from a heart attack, she couldn’t bear to go back to work without him there and took early retirement. She’s more than comfortable financially due to his life insurance policy and their pensions.

“I know, thanks, Mum. Honestly, I’m good for now.”

“Hmm, ok, if you say so, son. I just want you to be happy. The last thing I want is you running yourself into the ground like your dad did.”

My heart clenches at her weighted words. I’m running myself into the ground, but in a much more sinister way than she could ever imagine.

“Mum, please, drop it. How’s Aunty Julie? I heard she got herself a new fella?”

Swiftly changing the subject to gossip does the trick. Mum prattles on for another half an hour, filling me in on all the drama from back home and being her genuinely cheerful self. I love this woman. I’ll do anything to protect her from harm or even my own secrets. She lost one man she loved, and I refuse to obliterate the idea of the perfect son she has. It’s why I need to wrap this shit up. Just a few months and I can move on. I can finally let go and close this chapter of my life.

Chapter 3

Anders

It’s now or never.

Jahmar left for work about ten minutes ago. I can only assume that’s where he was going, clad in a classic white shirt and smart black trousers that fit his bubble butt like a fucking glove.

Since our little incident in the lift, thoughts of him have consumed me. My need to learn more about him feels like a deep itch beneath my skin.

I have a handle on it, though. I won’t allow this to become some sick obsession. I’ll watch him for a few weeks to put this nagging feeling at bay. I’m sure he’s like any other typical thirty-something doctor. He’ll eat, sleep, work, repeat. I’ll probably be bored to death after a couple of days.

Then why the fuck am I doing it?

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