Page 85 of The Step Dare

“Breathe, Mom. And keep admiring that dress because you’re gonna have to get used to wearing it to make it worth how much it cost.”

Her gaze narrows. “It didn’t cost that much. And I stayed within the budget you drew up.”

“Still a lot for a bunch of fabric.”

“But it’s such pretty fabric.” She strokes it, her gaze settling on the dress as she runs her fingers along the train. Even though she’s looking at the dress, I can tell her mind is elsewhere. Maybe appreciating the life she’ll share with Keith.

“I’m just teasing, Mom. Tomorrow is your big day. And you get to have a fancy dress to celebrate finding such a great guy.”

For the first time since I entered the room, she takes a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing as she takes my hand. “Thank you, Taylor.”

“It’s kind of my job to make sure you’re chill for the big day.”

She chuckles. “I didn’t mean for relaxing me. Thank you for that too, but I meant being so cool about Keith. Even though we were trying to protect you and Brenner in case things didn’t work out, it was more than that. I was nervous too. Given what a terrible experience you had with your…”

“Piece of Shit.”

“I’m not calling him that,” she says, though her smile suggests she wishes she could.

“Why not? Not like the courts can come in and use it against us anymore.”

Her expression shifts to concern. “It shouldn’t have been like that. I should have left him sooner. Maybe if I had…” I can hear the regret I know she carried all through my youth.

“Mom, you’re not responsible for what that asshole did to our family. He made his choices, and given how much he’d beaten onyour self-esteem by the time you left, I’m honestly shocked you were able to. Today, I see this strong, confident woman who can do anything she sets her mind to. That’s not the woman I knew when I was a kid. She was always walking on eggshells and trying to say the right thing.”

She bites her lip. “You know I wasn’t like that when I met Chris? He was charming and kind and warm. I thought I’d found the one. Looking back, it’s easy to see little signs. Things I thought of as teasing or him being playful. Chipping away little by little, and once I had you, it really started to come out. This other side of him that was just…nasty. It wasn’t directed toward you, so I think I told myself that as long as he was good to you, it was fine.”

“Sure, I remember plenty of times where Dad was nice or kind to me, but when he was unkind to you in front of me, that wasn’t kind to me either.”

“I see that now. Wish I could have seen it back then. That it hadn’t had to be after losing Aria that I woke up. And it wasn’t even me. It was when you snapped at him, and I saw that you, this kid, knew what he was saying was wrong. I saw Chris through your eyes, and that’s what did the trick. You know you saved me, right?”

In a moment, I recall the most I’ve ever seen her struggle. The pain. The sadness. And those vicious words from his mouth that made me finally let him know I’d had enough.

“Hey, Mom. You’re not the only person who’s gotten with the wrong guy. And you got out. You got me out.”

Her eyes water. “But I didn’t.”

If only it were so easy, but life never is. There was the difficult custody battle, and I had to stay with him for too many years before I was free.

“You didn’t do that to me,” I assure her. “He and the courts did.”

“Doesn’t make it any better.”

Now I’m tearing up thinking about how fucking painful that time was, how many years I went just wishing that the Piece of Shit would leave us the hell alone.

“No, it doesn’t make it better,” I tell her. “But all we can do is keep moving forward. You’re getting married tomorrow. To an amazing guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

Tears burst free from Mom’s eyes, and she raises her hand to her face.

“That was supposed to cheer you up,” I say, running back through what I said to see where I fucked it up.

“Oh, Taylor.” She fans her face. “These are happy tears.” She sniffles as she pulls her hand away from her face. “I just never thought I could feel like this again. After Chris, I accepted that I’d never get to have the happily ever after I imagined. And I thought that was fine. I had you and made friends, and I didn’t think it could get better until Keith came along and changed everything.”

There’s a sparkle in her eyes. I catch glimpses of it when I see her with him, the sort that maybe can’t make up for all the pain, but at least makes it all somehow worth it.

Reminds me of what I have.

When I’m with Bren.

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