Page 62 of The Step Dare

18

Brenner

So…I’m definitely enjoyingthis whole see-how-things-will-go situation with Taylor. I don’t know what to call us, but we’re not boyfriends. We’re fuck buddies, though that doesn’t seem the right qualifier either because over the past few weeks we’ve also started sleeping in the same bed every night, even when he doesn’t fuck my brains out. And we’ve done so much cuddling. Like, all the cuddling. We do it when we’re talking and when we watch movies. We sit close, our legs entwined, when we’re playing video games. He plays with my hair sometimes while I’m doing homework, and I tickle my fingertips along his nape because I know how much he enjoys it.

Those are not fuck-buddy activities…which makes sense. Given our history, our friendship, and how close we are, of course it won’t feel superficial; of course everything is going to seem a little more.

And honestly, that scares the crap out of me. Not enough to make me stop, but I can’t pretend my brain doesn’t keep going to that place where I remember what it was like to lose Mom…how heartbroken Dad was, how I don’t think he would have pulled out of it if he hadn’t had a son to raise. And I’m frightened about anyone having that power over me. Not that Taylor would ever do anything to hurt me—I know he wouldn’t—but you never know what life will throw at you.

What I’m starting to realize, though, is that Taylor already has that power over me, and always had. I’ve had friendships before him, obviously, but nothing like ours. He’s always meant more to me than others. We have a deeper connection than I’ve had with anyone else, and so the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes that losing Taylor would’ve hurt at any point. Even before we started having sex and cuddling. And then sometimes, I just kinda look at him and don’t want to stop. It’s all weird as fuck. Sex with your best friend is even more awesome than sex with random people.

These are all things I should probably share with Taylor.

“What are you thinking about over there?” Taylor rolls over and wraps an arm around me. It’s a Saturday, so we don’t have school.

I turn so I can face him, dance my fingers down his naked chest. “About how we’re naked in bed together, my ass tender, and in a little while we’ll be getting fitted for tuxes for our parents’ wedding.”

“Oooh, kinky,” he teases with a chuckle.

“You know what’s funny? We’re going to be staring at each other across the aisle, and all I’ll be thinking about is that I know what your cum tastes like.”

Taylor smirks. “Really? I’d figure you’d also be thinking about how it feels when my thick cock pushes into your tiny, little hole.”

“Well, that too.”

“That’s what I thought.” Taylor leans in and presses a kiss to my lips, almost sweetly. Who knew simple kisses could make your toes curl? Again, having sex with your best friend isawesome.

All too soon, Taylor rolls over and climbs out of bed. “Come on. We have stuff to do.”

“Can’t we just stay in bed all day?” I bat my lashes.

“That doesn’t work with me.”

“Sometimes it does.”

He snickers. “Not this time. I’ll make us some breakfast.”

My stomach growls. “It’s not like I’m going to argue about food.”

We tug on clothes, make omelets together for breakfast, then play some video games before forcing ourselves to do homework.

Eventually it’s time to get ready, and after our shower, I try my hardest not to, but I can’t resist blowing him. Afterward, Taylor drives us to the tuxedo store where our parents made an appointment for us. They picked out what they want ahead of time, so we just have to go in for the fitting.

“I hate tuxes,” I complain.

“You look hot in them, though. Remember when we took those twins to prom? I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was noticing how hot you looked in your tux more than paying attention to my date.”

I rub my hands together playfully. “Oooh, tell me more. Was I your bi-awakening even back then?”

“No, it was Josh Anderson from the basketball team.”

“What the fuck.” I whip my head in his direction. “Him? He was an asshole. I hated that guy.”

Taylor laughs. “I’m giving you shit. I didn’t have my bi-awakening in high school with Josh Anderson.”

“I’m way hotter.” I cross my arms, pouting a bit.

“Wait. Are you seriously jealous? I’m joking about a fake crush. And we literally fucked someone together since then.”

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