Page 48 of The Step Dare

“Again, best friend. We’re always together, so of course I would talk about him a lot.”

“You smile dopily when you do it.”

“I’m a dope. That’s nothing new.” I chuckle but shift a little uncomfortably before taking a drink. “You just don’t get us. We connected at a really important time in our lives. Tay trusted me with pieces of himself, and…I guess he was the first person to do that, to see beyond the annoying, obnoxious Brenner, and it connected us.” Whoa. I didn’t even know I felt that way, didn’t realize how much Taylor accepting me and seeing more in me was something I really needed. Or need, I guess.

“Okay.” Mila shrugs. “Back to Alexis…she was really, really good, and I needed it. She did this thing with her fingers where—”

“You don’t believe me,” I interrupt.

“I saidokay.”

“Yeah, but it was one of those placating okays. I don’t have a crush on Taylor.” I can’t have a crush on Taylor. What if it ruined everything? Plus, I don’t do crushes.

“I believe you that you don’t think you have a crush on Taylor.”

“You saidthinkbecause you believe I do.”

“Well, I’m allowed to have my own feelings, aren’t I?”

She might have a point there.

But…what if I do have a crush on him? How could I not know that? Sure, I’m not always in touch with my emotions, but I would have to be an idiot to miss a crush on my bestbro…hey, that’s cute. Best friend and stepbro.

I’m different with Taylor, though…and I like cuddling with him, talking to him, having sex with him. Isn’t a crush more than that?

Mila reaches over and puts her hand on top of mine. “I feel like you’re spiraling. I didn’t mean to give you a hard time. Maybe you have a crush on him and maybe you don’t. I’m sure you know your feelings best.”

“I would have thought so five minutes ago, but I’m not so sure now. Thanks for that.”

Mila laughs, and I can’t help doing the same.

“Are you feeling better now?” she asks.

“I don’t know. I kinda feel like my whole life has been a lie,” I tease, and we dissolve into laughter again. When I settle down, I say, “I need to get back to work. Tell me about the fingers later?”

She grins. “Absolutely.”

I pinch her cheeks, and she curses me out.

As I get back to work behind the counter, I keep thinking…she’s so wrong about me and Taylor.

She has to be.

*

By the timeI get home that evening, I’m convinced Mila’s clueless. She simply doesn’t understand my relationship with Taylor. We get us, though, and that’s all that matters. And even if I did have a crush on him, which I don’t, it would be a small one. It’s practically impossible to be as close as we are and not have some kind of small something. It’s completely normal.

I’m surprised to find Dax sitting on our couch, playing video games with Taylor. Um…definitely didn’t expect this. Not that it matters. It doesn’t matter. But I kinda wonder if they’re hooking up.

“Hey,” I say, then walk over to the couch and sit between them.

“Hey,” Taylor replies. “You okay?”

“Yep. I’m good. How about you two?” Translation: did you fuck him again?No. Stop. I can’t care if he does.

“Dude. Remind me to never play video games with Taylor again. He’s too fucking good,” Dax tells me.

“Yeah, he always beats all our asses. What are you up to?”

---