Page 15 of The Step Dare

“So how you feeling?” he asks for what must be the tenth time.

“How areyoufeeling?”

His gaze wanders. “I thought they were gonna say it started on the trip. Not…”

“That it’s been going on since the beginning of the year.”

“And they’re getting married.”

“And we’re gonna be stepbrothers.”

Our recap is enough to make my anxiety flare up again, though not nearly as bad as right after we walked in on our parents fucking.

As I chase away the image in my head, my thoughts return to our discussion, how open and honest they were. And those things they didn’t have to say that we both picked up on.

“It’s…a lot,” I say, which sounds like an extreme understatement. “I know my mom, and when she was talking about your dad, I could tell she loves him. Looking back, there are moments where she seemed awfully excited to see you guys. Not that you’re not great and all, but I was completely oblivious to it.”

“Same here. I know my dad as well as you know Nicole, and I’m kinda hating myself for not catching on sooner.”

“Right? They’re shit at even keeping surprise birthday parties secret.”

“Yeah,” Brenner says with a slight smile. “Guess that shows how much they didn’t want what they were doing to wind up hurting us if things didn’t work out.”

He’s right about that. That’s so them, it’s almost annoying.

I say, “I feel like sometimes they might put our needs a little too far ahead of their own, and the way they handled this one really blew up in their faces.”

“I don’t think that’s where Dad was going to blow up.”

I cringe. “Bren, you’re making a joke about… I can’t even finish that.”

“Only fair since we didn’t let them finish.” Even he cringes at that one. “I’m never gonna have enough therapy to recover from that.”

I take another bite of a fry, chuckling as I swallow. “I can’t believe this is really our lives right now.”

“Does this mean you’re gonna be a bridesmaid?” Brenner asks. “Or the bride’s groomsman?”

“I know you’re trying to be silly, but please let’s not start making plans for the wedding we found out about less than twenty minutes ago.”

Brenner raises his hands in surrender. “Sure, but we’re definitely too old to be ring bearers or flower girls.”

I glare at him.

“That was the last one, I promise.”

Although, he’s got me grinning, which I’m sure was his real goal.

But there’s more to it than that. Something else has to be on Brenner’s mind, and I feel like a selfish prick for being so shocked, I didn’t even consider how hard this must be for him. “You know, it’s weird for me, but considering the Piece of Shit, if it makes Mom happy, then I’m happy. But I can’t imagine it’s that simple for you.”

He’s unusually quiet, staring off. “For sure. I love Dad. I want him to be happy, and obviously I love Nicole, but there’s a part of me that never wanted to see my dad with anyone else. Like just pretend that his love for Mom was enough for the rest of his life.”

I reach over and rest my hand on his shoulder, and his gaze meets mine as he goes on, “That’s a selfish thing to say, isn’t it? Of course I want more for him. Hell, I’ve even told him to date—and now I can see why he was so against it—but…I guess I never thought it would happen. Which is ridiculous. He can’t be alone forever, and I don’t want him to be, but…fuck. I don’t even know what I’m saying. It’s just weird to think of my dad with someone else.”

“I think it just says how much you love your mom. And how painful it was to lose her.”

He’s quiet again, looks out over the deck, to the ocean.

It’s hard watching Bren going through this. To most people, he’s the laughy, fun-loving guy, like he’s never had to deal with real shit. But I know him better than that. I know that behind the friendly banter and that charming-ass smile is a hell of a lot of pain too.

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