Page 74 of The Stud

Our mutual conclusion regarding the escalation of the situation pushes me to lower my volume to something far below game announcers, “Can you please toss me a blanket and pillow? I wanna crash.”

“You can crash beside me in the bed.”

My arms defiantly fold across my chest. “Fuck no.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not sleeping with you!”

“How is falling asleep together side by side on some hotel bed really any bloody different than when we fall asleep together side by side on your lumpy couch?”

“First off, my couch isn’t lumpy.”

“It is like lounging on a pile of mashed potatoes from color to consistency.”

“Second off,” another small glare is delivered, “falling asleep with you on it, is never something planned, it just sort of happens.”

“Perhaps foryou. Bear and I both know if the bread consumption outweighs the vegetable one, a nappie transitions from being a possibility to probability in point twelve seconds.”

“Andlastly,” hiding the hint of mirth he’s scraped up is more difficult than it should be, “that shit hasn’t happened inover two weeks…” This time keeping my feelings out of my tone can’t be done. “And is likely toneverhappen again because someone stopped coming over to do that without even bothering to tell mewhy.”

“You know why.”

“Obviously I fucking don’t.”

“How can you not know?”

“Maybe because your Tom Hardly ass hasn’t told me!”

“I don’t need to tell you shit, Arden!” His body unexpectedly propels itself onto his feet. “You’re the one who went out with her ex-boyfriend while you’re datingme!” My jaw barely has the opportunity to crack open before he’s barkingagain. “You’rethe one who didn’t bother fucking tellingmewe weren’t bloody exclusive!”

“We’re not dating!”

“We’re not,notdating!”

“Look, I know better English is your second language or whatever, but you have got to know that sentence doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

“Giving you a double negative tends to have better results than practical conversing.”

That’s not true.

Or like…I don’tthinkthat’s true.

I mean…it’s probably not true.

Although…is it notnottrue.

Shit.

“Arden, no matter how much you want to be and think of yourself as one, you arenotjust one of the boys to me.”

“I am notnotone!”

“We dine together.”

“You were just eating with Peck!”

“We binge films together.”