Page 157 of The Stud

Unhappy huffs have me threatening to smile.

“Your duckis on your bed.” Tanner motions his head behind him. “Go.”

Bear scurries out of the room leaving us completely alone and me more nervous about what’s happening now than the surgery I’m about to endure in a couple hours.

Maybe because whatever’s happening now is much fucking scarier?

I mean…I got the email.

I not only get to keep my job, I’m getting a fucking promotion.

Don’tlovehow I got there, but I am grateful for the opportunity.

Less grateful because it meanshe’sleaving.

Thathe’sbeen traded.

And now that he has, we have to decide what that means forus.

“You wearing my number?” he smoothly investigates, spotting the logo on my chest. “You know the rules, Slayer. You only wearmynumber.”

I roll my eyes and flash him my back, revealing not only his rhinestone decorated number but the sparkling term of endearment. “Done, Hamster Boy.”

“Bloodyhell,” Tanner whimpers in a melting fashion, “when did you getthatmade?”

“The girls all got them made for the watch parties.” Shoving my hands into the central pocket is bashfully done. “But I don’t get to attend the watch parties since I’m actually out on the roadskie with all of you so…” an innocent shrug can’t be helped, “I didn’t really see the point in getting one for meuntil Joey basically told me it wasn’t abouty’allbutus. Having a sisterhood. Building a sisterhood. Beinga partof one even if I couldn’t openly.” Another bounce of my shoulders is given. “I love being one of the boys but…Idontknow. Joey has this way of making me love being one of the girls too. Like it’s an okay thing to be.”

“It most certainly is,” he encourages with a gentle smile, “ifthat’s whatyouwant to be.”

My lips purse to one side in a wordless rebuttal.

“Don’t get me wrong, Arden. I fuckingloveyou being a Slayer and all that it entails; however, I loveyouforyou. And I do not want you to resent me because you believe you have to behave in a way I would never ask.” At that, he steps forward. “I do not want nor expect you to suddenly because whoever it is you think you need to be to be seen with me. I want to be seen withyou…thereal you…andonly the real you.”

“You mean…” it’s my turn to amble towards him, vertigo seemingly subsiding, “you want us to…stay together?”

“Did you honestly expect otherwise?”

“I don’t know…” escapes at a breathier volume than intended. “I don’t knowwhatto expect now that you’ve been traded.”

“I have not been traded.”

Befuddlement immediately darts my eyebrows down. “Okay, but I haven’t been fired. I’ve…actually beenpromoted.”

“I heard.” He lovingly grins. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Tucking a loose strand behind my hearing aid bearing ear coyishly occurs. “It was super fucking unexpected considering the embarrassment I made of myself at the soft launch.” A small bite to my bottom lip is taken. “And ofyou.” Rather than wait for a rebuttal, I merely word vomit up everything I haven’t been able to. “I’m sorry, Tanner.”

Surprise stumbles his lips apart.

“You didn’t deserve the cheap shots I slapped.”

“Agreed.”

“That outburst wasn’t notnotabout you…but it wasn’t totallynotnot about you.” The sight of his eyebrows lifting encourages me to continue. “I see the women thatconstantlythrow themselves at you or that you’re photographed with or rumored to be dating and they lookexactlylike most of the women in the league who are married to players and knowing I don’t look like that or that I’lleverlook like that and that I’ll ever fit in withthemjust got the better of me. And instead of rationally trying to explain it, I went on the D. Set myself up to take the penalty versus letting you see how much the idea of being left because I’m not like that scares me.”

“Youalwayschoose the hard route,” leaves him a mirthful tone.

“Not always.”

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