Page 84 of The Good Boys Club

“Obviously, your friend, duh. I meant, has your friend ever liked any of the girls at your school?”

“Yeah,” Felix said.

“And now your friend likes a guy at school? Or is this hypothetical?” I said.

Felix sucked at his teeth. Picked at the loose thread on his school trousers. “There’s a new boy at school, Jacob . . .” He paused and Mash and I waited for him to fill the silence. “My friend likes Jacob. Like, really likes Jacob. But my friend has only ever thought about girls in that way before.”

“Sounds as though your friend might be bi,” Mash said. “Which is cool. All the best people in the Eight and a Half Kingdoms are bi, including me.”

“Yeah, obviously,” said Felix. But I hardly heard him. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

I leaned my back flat against the chair’s backrest and looked at Mash. He was staring right at me. It was all for show. Mash was straight. He’d said it to make a point to his nephew, but . . .

“Are you really?” I mouthed the words.

Mash shrugged. “Maybe.”

Holy fuck! My hands were in my hair. I tried to calm my manic heartbeat. Fuck. What? Fuck.

“When?” No sound came out. I cleared my throat. “Uh, Mash, I think it might be helpful for Felix’s friend if you told us exactly when you knew you were bi?” I realised I phrased it as a question, but the words were getting squeakier as the sentence went on.

Mash took a sharp inhalation. Felix looked at him. “Okay.” He looked at me and in his features I saw only an apology. Was he apologising because he’d never told me before, or was he apologising because he was about to fabricate a story to make his nephew feel less isolated? “I was twenty-one.”

“Oh,” I said before I could slap my hand over my mouth. That would have put us in our final year of our undergrad degree.

“Twenty-one? That’s old,” Felix said.

“What . . . um . . . how did you know?”

Mash chewed on his lip for what seemed like forever before answering. “I went to a party with Ci. He—you had a boyfriend . . . Charley? You were kissing him. I thought to myself, I wish that was me.”

I swallowed.

Mash continued to talk. “And then another time when we were buying suits for Uncle Zach and Uncle Kai’s mating . . . I . . . uh . . .” He gave me an apologetic smile. “I did the buttons up on Ci’s jacket and I decided I’d never seen a more beautiful man.”

“Mash?” I was on my feet, until Felix frowned at me and I realised this should not be news. I sat down again.

“When did you guys go from being friends to being in love?” Felix asked.

I couldn’t answer. Mash would know I’d been madly in love with him since the second I laid eyes on him. But I didn’t need to answer. Mash spoke.

“Winter Fest last year, before I came here to see you guys.”

Something odd settled in my gut. The Winter Fest thing had been the story we discussed before, but now there was something else, an element of forgotten truth to it. I racked my brain trying to remember the evening.

We’d been partying in the restaurant on the ground level. I’d become overwhelmed with the noise levels, and the heat, and the sheer number of drunken colleagues—people I deeply detested—and had fled to the building’s rooftop. Mash had arrived a few moments later, and we’d smoked a joint. He’d duct taped chocolate bars to the inside of his suit jacket. And we’d chatted. He’d said . . . Fuck, what had he said?

I’d spoken about quitting my job. About how much I hated it. I had . . . told him I wanted to leave Remy. I was sure of it. And he’d said . . .

No, I couldn’t remember what he’d said. I could only picture his sad puppy-dog eyes.

Shit, had Mash been crying that night?

Gods, I was a terrible friend.

Felix nodded, pulling my thoughts from that Winter Fest party. His rod bounced, and he leaned forward and fiddled with the reel.

I leant back in my chair again and whispered to Mash, “Is this real? Is this really happening?”

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