Page 12 of Sin and Deception

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe," I whispered to their photos. The guilt I felt over my inability to save my father and brother weighed heavily on me.

On some days, the logical part of me understood that there was nothing I could have done to prevent their deaths. But the girl who had lost her father, brother, and innocence could only blame herself for not seeing it coming.

I vowed to do whatever it took to lessen the damage of Fiona's book. Sighing heavily, I collapsed onto the couch and kicked off my shoes, tucking my feet beneath me.

"Oh, Fiona, what have you done?" I reached into mypurse, pulled out my eReader, and opened her book, desperate for answers.

Frustration boiled inside me as I thought of all the potential problems swirling in my mind since Fiona's phone call.

If anything were to happen to my family…

Images of two beautiful little boys flashed through my mind, and I couldn't help but envision all the tragic losses I might endure—losses I wasn’t sure I could ever overcome.

I ran my trembling fingers through my hair as tears streamed down my cheeks. How could I fix this? I had to fix this. I had to do something.

But what?

An avalanche of emotions—fear, worry, anxiety, and despair—overwhelmed me, and sobs broke from my lips. I’d longed for freedom, but not like this.

Five

XANDER

As I gazed out the window of my private jet, I couldn't help but feel disconnected from the serene scene outside. Fluffy clouds drifted lazily in the bright sunshine, creating a stark contrast to the darkness that consumed me at that moment. Restlessness enveloped me as I paced around the small cabin like a caged lion, unable to find peace.

All I could think about was Nerine. Her disappearance had taken over my life, and every lead we followed seemed to go nowhere. But I clung to a sliver of hope that this might be the clue that would lead us to her. My mind couldn't stop racing with thoughts and worries, but I refused to give in todespair. Everything had changed since Nerine disappeared, for me, Theo, and all of us. Our lives were forever altered, and there was no going back.

Instead of succumbing to sadness, I immersed myself in the quest for Nerine with unwavering determination. I scrutinized every detail, overturned every stone, and diligently chased down every rumor.

Finding Nerine became my sole purpose, even if it meant risking my life.

"Are you going to pace around the entire damn flight?" Theo's irritated voice pulled me back to reality as he looked at me with a raised brow.

"I can't sit still," I admitted, feeling guilty for putting him under more stress.

"Everything's going to be okay, Xander. You need to try to relax," he said with concern.

But relaxation was impossible.

Ever since I woke up that morning and found Nerine missing, any sense of calm had vanished from within me.

On top of all the anxiety and fear was the constant worry that Theo would pull away from me again and retreat into his shell just as we were finally getting close again after years of estrangement. He tended to shut down when things got tough, distancing himself from anything and anyone that caused him pain. I wanted to believe that the past two years of hard work had made us stronger, but there were still moments when it was clear that he hadn't fully forgiven me for my past mistakes. I wanted to move on and focus on thepresent and the future, but Theo always seemed to keep one foot in the past.

Perhaps my obsessive focus on finding Nerine revealed my unwillingness to move on from the past. It might be time for me to accept that nothing would change until we brought her home safely.

"We need to get our shit together before we land," I muttered, trying to distract myself from thoughts about our relationship.

"Agreed," Theo said with a sigh. "I have a contact in Las Vegas who might be able to help."

My annoyance quickly turned to outrage at his words. "Shocking. Which one is it this time? The security expert or the casino owner?"

"Must you bring that up now?" he asked, exasperated.

"What? Your countless affairs?" I couldn't help but let bitterness seep into my tone.

"Xander!" Theo's voice rose as he barked at me. "Seriously, not now! Can't you ever let that go? So what if I slept around after we broke up? What did you expect?"

"God forbid I expect you to keep your dick in your pants," I retorted, unable to stop myself.

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