Page 34 of Intrigued By Love

This was seriously surprising news. “But Grandma and Tutu were such good friends. They acted as if they’d arranged your marriage from birth.”

Tutu would say destiny had matched Mama and Papa. There had never been an ounce of dislike whenever Tutu would speak of Papa and especially not Grandma. They were thick as thieves and had traveled all over the world together as two widowed seniors.

Mama set a hand on my arm. “It took five years of marriage, five years of dislike, five years of horrible things said on both sides before things changed. In fact, it was your Papa nearly dying during a deployment to the Middle East for everything to change. I was pregnant with you, all alone at the base in San Diego, and scared out of my mind after hearing your Papa was airlifted to a hospital in Germany with a severe injury.”

Mama pinched the bridge of her nose. “It still makes me want to cry remembering that time. I’d contacted both moms to let them know what was happening, expecting them to ignore my calls as they’d done since the day your Papa and I eloped. But they both answered and arrived on my doorstep within twenty-four hours.

“The resentment I’d had toward them disappeared the second they hugged me. And by the time your Papa returned home to us, both moms were friends and understood each other.”

I sighed. “Mama, I’m not sure there’s hope for that kind of reconciliation with Jax’s parents. They aren’t like Grandma or Tutu. They are about image and status. It isn’t about what’s best for Jax. The stories he told me about his childhood were filled with sacrificing Jax’s happiness for advancing his parents’ careers and lives.”

“Then answer these questions, is Jax like them?”

I frowned. “Of course not. He’s nothing like them.”

“Then be honest with yourself—did he keep you from his parents because he was ashamed of you or because he wanted to protect you from them?”

I knew what she was trying to do. To show me I’d run for no reason, that I’d let my insecurities get the best of me.

My lips trembled. “Because he was protecting me.”

“Would you rather he’d let you fend for yourself with his parents?”

“No. But I’d rather he had stood by my side when I dealt with them.”

“Baby girl, men don’t think the way we do. If they love someone—and I know Jax loves you—they want to slay your dragons and protect you from anything that could hurt you.”

The image of Christopher and Jennine Burton as evil dragons made me want to smile. Then a wave of guilt hit me.

“Mama, I don’t want to be the reason he has no relationship with his family, no matter how fucked-up they are.”

I winced, realizing that I’d cussed.

Mama lifted a brow and said, “That isn’t a decision you can make. It belongs to Jax. Your Papa made his own choices when it came to his parents. From where I’m sitting, Jax picked you.”

I wanted it to be true; I wanted to have a life with him. He was saying he would. Then why couldn’t I accept it as real?

My vision clouded and a tear slipped down my cheek. “I’m scared that if he moves here, he’ll regret it.”

“Dammit, Kailani, sometimes I want to shake some sense into you,” Kiana burst out. “Sorry, Mama, but you’re being too gentle with her. The only way to get through to her is by being blunt. Are you worth the risk? Is he worth the risk? If the answer is no, then walk away. Stop going back and forth, make a fucking decision and stick to it. If you have regrets later, then it’s on you. I swear, you can be such a dumbass.”

“Kiana, language.” Mama pointed a finger at her.

“No, Mama. I’m tired of this. The man is head over heels in love with this idiot, but he only has so much energy to spend on trying to convince her to take the chance. I’m of the mind to tell him to move on. He deserves someone who loves him with the same intensity he feels.”

“I do love him. I love him so much that I couldn’t imagine living a life where I was second to everything else in his life.”

“But you weren’t.” Mama wiped the tears on my face with a tissue she’d pulled from a box on a side table. “Perception isn’t always reality.”

“I know.” I hiccupped. “I shouldn’t have left him the way I did. I should have confronted him with the way I was feeling, instead of shutting down. I should have—”

Kiana cut me off. “Should havedoesn’t belong in this conversation. It’s what you’re going to do now that matters.”

Kiana was right—I had to stop living in the past and letting my fears win out. I either took the risk or lived out the rest of my life as I had the last two years.

Alone.

Taking a deep breath, I whispered, “You’re right.”

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