I couldn’t help myself, I tilted my head back to look into his eyes and see if he meant what I thought I’d heard.
“It’s true, baby. You’re the only woman I’ve ever fucked like this.”
“Why?” I asked between the force of his thrusts.
“Because it’s intimate on the highest level. It requires trust, not just need.”
My lips trembled and I whispered, “It’s the same for me. Kiss me, Ashu.”
He lowered his mouth to mine. Our kiss was filled with an emotion I knew would leave me in shambles when all my secrets came out. I pushed the thoughts back and lost myself in Ashur.
His finger and cock continued their onslaught of passion on my body, and within a few more strokes, my body was detonating.
I pulled free of our kiss, bucking and arching as my orgasm washed over me. Everything inside me clenched and a guttural cry echoed in my ear as Ashur’s pistoning cock grew harder. In the next second he came, pushing all his weight onto my back and releasing with an intensity I’d never experienced with him before.
* * *
About twenty minutesafter the most earth-shattering orgasm of my life, Ashur picked me up, carried me to the top of our bed, and laid me down as if I were a precious jewel.
“Let me get cleaned up and then we can go to bed.”
I could only nod as he pressed his lips to my forehead and moved toward the bathroom. My body was too lethargic to muster the strength to budge a muscle. A few minutes later, I felt the heat of a warm washcloth glide between my legs. I moaned, enjoying the gentle caress of the damp cloth. When Ashur finished caring for me, he crawled onto the bed, pulling my body against his.
He held me for what felt like hours. I listened to the steady beat of his heart.
“It’s okay, love.”
I remained quiet. This was far from okay. What we’d just shared had changed the level of our relationship.
Our raw, need-filled coupling was more than sex, more than him marking his territory. I’d just handed everything I was over to him. The urge to weep and run warred with wanting never to let this man go.
I’d lost the battle. I couldn’t deny it anymore. I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t in love with him.
Now all I could do was wait and see if he truly felt the same for me or if he loved the illusion of me, the memory of the girl I’d been.
He tilted up my face and kissed me. A kiss so slow and long, one filled with everything I’d ever wanted from him.
He pulled back and murmured against my lips. “I love…”
Before he went further, I covered his mouth with mine. I refused to let him speak words he may regret saying later.
He broke our kiss and stared at me with a tinge of frustration. “Why won’t you let me tell you?”
“Ashu, please. I’m not strong enough to hear those words and then have you take them back.”
“Do you really think I’d do that to you? Do you really think I’d give you my heart only to steal it away again?”
“You did it before.”
“Dammit, Tara. I was twenty-three. Why do you keep holding the past over us?”
“Because I know history will repeat itself.”
“What are you hiding? Why are you so afraid to love me and let me love you?”
“Let it go.” I sat up, dropping my feet off the side of the bed. “Maybe it’s better to stick to our contract. Then we don’t have to worry about hurting each other.”
“Is that really what you want?”