Page 190 of The Liar's Reckoning

“I dream about that old place at least once a week.” I mean Chelsea. Our kitchen. Our bed. Our couch.Him.

“I don’t think I’m gonna miss this place at all,” he says.

“What’s in Florida?”

“My aunt.”

The one I never met the same way I never met his mother whose grave I’ve laid flowers on. I swallow through my tightening throat. Every time I think about the way he was there for me after the miscarriage and the way I distinctly wasnotthere when he lost his mother, I want to beg someone to bury me alive.

“How’s she doing?” I ask.

His gaze goes from thoughtful to wary. Like he’s not sure he wants to have this kind of conversation with me after all. “She’s good. Making a lot of new friends.”

I want to ask him a million things. If Avery and Roger paid up, would you still be going? If you still had a job with Katia would you stay? If I had a real spine instead of a piece of straw and were able to turn my back on my family would you still want to be with me? Is this all my fault?

“What will you do there?”

“I’m still looking,” he says. “Not sure yet.”

“Personal training?”

“Maybe. But I need health insurance, too, so…I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”

I can’t say either of the things I want to say—I’m sorry, or do you need any money—so I don’t say anything. I also want to hold his hand again, but I don’t do that either. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m still doing here. “Should I go?” I finally ask.

“Do you want to?”

“I never wanted to.”

He takes a moment as if he’s digesting that, and I brace for a fight. “Then stay,” he says simply.

The word sends me reeling. “I ca—I…”

“Won’t. Youwon’t. I already know that. But don’t say you can’t. It’s worse than an empty apology.”

“My apologies weren’t empty, Silas.”

“But what good did they do? Make sure I knew you felt superbad about all of it, but you were gonna do it anyway? You made me think—” He shakes his head and turns to face the window. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Fuck.” I put my head in my hands. This is so frustrating. “What about this do you not understand? I spent my entire life doing exactly what my father wanted. I felt like my back was against the wall. Do I look back on it now and say well—thatcould have been avoided.Yes.I fucked up. I didn’t think up the whole AI bullshit. If I had that idea, I would have led with it.”

“Would have been nice if someone would have thought of me in all that.”

Holden had. But he thought it would be better to leak Silas’s name instead. “I’m gonna get dressed,” I say. If I’m going to tell him this, and I think I will, I’m not doing it butt ass naked.

Silas sits up, and I toss him his sweatpants. “What’s happening?” he asks.

I don’t answer him until my jeans are on. It feels very strange for my cock to be touching fabric, but I’m not gonna make Silas sit through watching me get the thing on. It’s a bit of a process. Plus, I don’t know where the key went. I’m hoping it shows up before he kicks me out again.

Once I’m dressed, I say, “I’m about to tell you something you won’t like.”

“Awesome. I love that for me,” he mumbles, but he also gets off the bed and puts his pants on. I stand at the foot of the bed, and he remains near the nightstand.

I force the words out. “When the video came out, Dad was furious. He was ready to hire hackers to get it offline?—”

Silas snorts. “He must not be that familiar with the internet.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not, so he called Holden—my brother who is.”

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