Page 85 of The Liar's Reckoning

“What do you feel guilty about?” I ask.

“Stressing you out. Spreading you too thin. Being your dirty secret.”

“Don’t make me worry about losing you, Silas. Not yet.”

“Let’s talk about something else,” he says. “Tell me what a convincing senator’s aide does on Capitol Hill.”

Walkingthrough the press corps is unnerving as Silas and I make our way to the senator’s offices. Cameras flash, and I stop to answer a few questions that likely won’t see the light of day because my answers are bland, and I haven’t been sworn in yet. Silas keeps his head down, eyes on his phone, looking busy. I take him to my office first, which has recently been cleared out from the last man who held it. It’s a bright, sunny room, large and stately with a fireplace, heavy furniture, and thick drapes.

“Okay, it feels real now,” Silas says.

“What does?”

“That you’re a senator.”

“I’m just relieved it came furnished,” I say.

“Want help rearranging anything?” he asks.

“Like what?”

Silas scans the room. “Like all of it.”

I laugh. “Sure.”

We get to work, moving the desk in front of the window, setting up a seating area for meetings around the fireplace, repositioning the rug. It takes about an hour to get it the way he wants it, and I can’t help but approve of the flow. “Much better,” I tell him.

We’re both stripped to our shirtsleeves with the cuffs rolled up, our ties loose. He sneezes at some of the dust we kicked up.

“Bless you.”

“Thanks.” He leans back on the desk, arms crossed and surveys the space, including an up and down perusal of me. In a serious tone, he says, “Don’t let this place turn you into an asshole, okay?”

“I won’t,” I promise him, approaching slowly.

“Like if I ever see you voting down a minimum wage increase, I’m out,” he says.

“Anything else?”

“Remember trans people are humans with rights.”

“I can do that.”

“And don’t ever use the phrase, my thoughts and prayers are with the victims’ families.”

I give him a small smile, wondering what he thinks of me sometimes—how many morals he feels like he’s having to sacrifice to lie in my bed. “I won’t.” I probably would have said that at some point, but I won’tnow.

He loosens his arms and holds onto the edge of the desk. I put my hands on his and lean in.

“Is the door locked?” he asks.

I nod.

He kisses me lightly then breaks away and heaves a breath like the kiss was much hotter and heavier than it was.

“You okay?” I ask.

“I like you too much.”

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