Page 78 of The Liar's Reckoning

It’s not that I disagree, but I’d prefer to live in denial a little longer. Who knows what could change if I actually do manage to get Avery pregnant. Silas could drop me like a bad habit. My own guilt might choke me, and I might do the same to him. But the more time I spend with him, the harder it is to remember how I lived without him for so long. I’m getting attached. “You don’t trust me,” I say.

“It’s not exactly that.”

“Then is it the fact that this relationship is going nowhere fast?”

“We’re calling it a relationship now?”

“What would you call it?” I ask.

“An affair?”

“Technically, I guess, but I don’t see it like that.”

Silas gives me a look that implies I need to elaborate.

“If anything, I feel like I’m cheating on you when I’m with her.”

“I gathered that when you called on Thanksgiving.”

“What do you need me to say, Silas?” I ask, desperate to fix whatever this is.

He opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by a knock on the door. I get up to deal with the attendant who checks our tickets, offers to bring us coffee, and asks if we need anything else.

I politely decline, telling him we’re just settling down to sleep.

“Call if you need anything, sir.”

“Thank you.” I give him a twenty and send him on his way, locking the door behind him.

As I turn to face Silas, the train moves. It unsteadies me, and I grab onto the wall to avoid tumbling on top of him. He grabs me by the belt buckle and tugs me toward him. I wind up next to him on the bench seat. He faces me, his legs crossed my way.

“I’m not trying to end this,” he says.

I keep my expression mild, but my heart is pounding. The scent of him is an aphrodisiac so potent, one whiff and I’m stiffening in my pants.

“It’s more like I need to be sure you’re in it.”

“So, itisabout trust?”

“In a way. Maybe. How often do you think about me?”

Constantly.“All the time,” I tell him.

“Like all day every day? Because that’s how often I’m thinking about you.”

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Even when you’re inside her?”

Especially then.“I haven’t touched her since Thanksgiving.”

“She hasn’t tried anything?”

“She…I mean…she tries.”

“And what do you do?”

“I try and gently remind her that wasn’t part of the deal.”

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