Page 24 of The Liar's Reckoning

He notices I’m not with him soon enough and circles back to stand in front of me. He puts a hand on my shoulder as I’m about to turn and walk away. “Hey. I’m not trying to be shitty. I just don’t get it.”

He’s not trying to be shitty?I shrug out of his gentle grip because his touch is more than I can handle. “Don’t get what?”

“Like—your angle.”

“I don’t have an angle,” I tell him, certain of that, at least. “I didn’t ask you to be the doorman or the only trainer available. I didn’t intend to have any contact with you after that night, so I don’t know why this is happening, but it is, and I can’t move out. I don’t expect you to quit, but there’s no need for me to go to the gym. I’ll stay out of your way.”

“I’m not asking you to do that.”

“No? That’s what it sounds like.”

“Graham…” He clears his throat and puts his hands on his hips, canting his body so he’s not directly facing me. “Listen…it’s just…the more I see you, the more I remember…”

I fold my arms over my chest, waiting for him to finish or drop the subject.

He glances back at me, his brown eyes the color of caramel in the cool morning light. “When you get turned on, I get turned on.”

“Oh.” That’s not what I was expecting. If my cheeks weren’t so cold, I’d probably be blushing.

“Right, so—that’s all I’m trying to say. I can control myself—you don’t need to worry about it, but I don’t know… Maybe wear a cup or something.”

I almost laugh. “You want me to wear a jockstrap?”

He turns away again. “Jesus.”

9

SILAS

He’s so fucking hot. Out here in the sunlight, it’s even more blinding. His color-saturated lips, those sparkling emerald eyes, and the idea of him in a jock—like the one I’m wearing right now. He’s too much. I knew this conversation would get me worked up, and I’m well aware these pants hide nothing.

I wish I could say I didn’t wear the pants on purpose, but I did. Training him has me more sexually frustrated than I’ve ever been in my life. Do I expect a man like him to break his vows and put his prestigious career on the line for a guy like me? Fuck no. Would I jump at the chance? Fucking probably. Watching all those erections go to waste is killing me slowly—like bleeding out from a paper cut.

A better idea than a cup is a cage—one only I have a key to. That would satisfy his proper Catholic sensibilities, and it’d be sexy as hell. And that’s why I’m having this conversation. Intrusive thoughts likethat. I could have probably been nicer, but something’s gotta change, or I’ll go up in flames.

He probably doesn’t even know what a cock cage is.

I feel inordinately possessive of him in the sickest way. I washis first. I control who comes and goes into his apartment. He’s put his body in my hands to make it even better than it already is. That first week training him, I won’t lie—I did expect to hear from him through Katia. The tension was thick in that gym, and his boners were persistent. But after five intense sessions, he seems to tolerate all of it like it’s a clicking noise in a radiator. Something he can relegate to the background and ignore.I’mthe one with the problem.

Wanting him is hard to admit, though. I don’t like putting myself out there like that, not since Ben took all my feelings for him and told me they didn’t matter. And I don’t know that I would call what’s happening herefeelingsexactly. It’s a goddamn gym crush. Only so much more complicated because he’shim. And I can’t read the guy for shit.

“Forget the jockstrap,” I sigh. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Figure what out?”

“You know how I can tell you’ve never been in a relationship, Graham?” I ask in lieu of answering his question.

“How?”

“You keep asking questions like that.”

“I’m just trying to understand.”

“And you need everything spelled out for you, apparently.”

“What I don’t need is to be spoken to like a child.”

“Then quit acting so clueless.”

---