Page 167 of The Liar's Reckoning

Even my landlord was hesitant to rent to me. I have to pay him in cash.

Before I start taking an inventory of my apartment to determine what I can sell, I shoot Lilah a text.

Me

Katia let me go. She’s closing the agency.

Lilah

Wtf???!!!

Me

Some new law apparently.

Lilah

Oh my god. Come over.

Me

Can’t. I’m about to get really drunk.

Lilah

I can help you with that. Come over.

Me

Not to be a dick, but am I being paid for this visit?

Lilah

I’m asking as a friend. But I’ll pay for a ride.

Me

It’s too weird. I’m sorry.

Lilah

Then let’s please not make it weird. I’ll come to you. Does thatwork better?

I guess it does. Yeah.

Me

Okay

I text her my address and try to make the apartment presentable. I can’t remember the last time I had anyone over here. Maybe never. No one comes to mind, and since I’ve been here for months, I admit the realization makes me feel sorry for myself as I collect a few pieces of laundry and put a bowl in the sink to wash.

I make up my bed, then mix a drink while I wait, scrolling through Netflix to find something to binge and distract me from my troubles once Lilah leaves. Troubles is a nice way of putting it. It’s something my mom would say. She’d also suggest the Netflix binge, but she’d frown at the tequila and recommend rocky road instead.

I sigh, slouching back into the couch, remembering her. Nearly my entire life she struggled with her weight. Yo-yoing between obesity and morbid obesity. Ironic then, that at the hour of her death, she wasn’t much more than a waif, subsisting on tube feedings because she could no longer breathe and eat at the same time. It was around the time of her diagnosis of heart failure that I realized no one should have to die like that, and I became a personal trainer.

Through that work, dealing with injuries and mobility limitations of my clients inspired an interest in physical therapy, but even if I could have afforded to take some classes over the last several years, I’m not sure when I would have found the time. And now I’m thirty.

My drink is empty. While I’m making another, Lilah shows up.

---